This morning started off fairly well. That changed 4 cups of Coffee later. All that
consumed caffeine in the system was screaming for a way out, I was ready to construct (or destruct) something. Then I spotted the vacuum cleaner looking lonely on the other side of the room. The computer room (my man cave), needed a good vacuuming.
Things were going fine, that is until the vacuum developed an attitude. The vacuum is new and works fine, its one of the clear canister ones, that allows you to watch the gross stuff swirl around, like the stuff is about to come out of it. I also forgot a major rule, “Men should NOT use household power tools without supervision”.
Things were going great, then I noticed a couple of very tiny bits of paper under the desk. Of course, they were laying too close to a small power wire, you know the kind, flat smaller than a phone charger, the type easily devoured by a vacuum. So to be careful, and avoid damage to the wire, I decided to crawl under the desk and move the wire out-of-the-way. I’m 65 years old and 220lbs. Picture that easing under a desk to do anything, okay lets not go there, the mental picture may be too much for some.
I have been known to leave out a step or two in doing something if it will save extra movements or time. I gently lay the vacuum down. Nope, I didn’t lock it in the upright position. Its laying there running, right next to the edge of the desk as I start my crawl. I know better than get down on the ground next to a running lawn-mower, not sure what possessed me to trust a household power tool, would not devour me.
I’m backing out very slowly, when the left leg of my baggy sweat pants is ingested by the vacuum. Not sure who was shocked most, me, or the cat that took off when the commotion started. All would have been fine, but I decided to temp fate and finish the destruction I had started. Again, I refer to the above rule, “Men should NOT use household power tools without supervision”. I’m halfway through vacuuming the room, and apparently, there was this loose loop of carpet fiber… I’ve seen television shows of machines weaving carpets, this is the second time I have watched a machine, ‘unweave’ a carpet. There is now a distinct line of missing carpet, about 3 feet long (I was slow hitting the foot switch). I managed to remove the huge looking crows nest off the roller.
I decided I had made enough improvements for one morning, and I would be better off not pushing my luck and end up spending the day in the Emergency Room. I may wind up there anyway, after I tell the wife about the carpet.
Enough of the power tools for one day. I’ll spend the rest at the keyboard.
Comments welcome,
LOLOL! Well in the annals of male vacuum-cleaner users (they’re very small annals mind you – whatever annals are anyway), I have to say you are the funniest!!
BTW I can well relate to your dangerous under-the-desk manoeuvre (or however you spell that, I’m not sure, cuz I’m in Canada). I can relate because I am, yea, *over* 65, and although not near 225 lbs, I have very bad knees due to my habit of falling directly onto them whenever I do fall, which used to be often, but now not so much since I decreased my pill intake. Let me say it’s *very* hard to get back up if you’re down under a desk and can’t used your knees.
Anyway, we were talking about YOU! See how I get off track? Ay yi. Advice to you re your woes: don’t do it again.
🙂
I think I’ll heed that advice. The wife just stepped in, and saw the carpet. Oh, boy..
Oh nooo! Typo alert!! My “used” your knees – that should be “use.” (Insert eye roll emoji.)
Never a problem, I don’t give out grades on comments, I just enjoy them. Thanks for dropping in and commenting.
Oh my……the carpet? Lol!
Yes, she took it pretty well as it was free for the office here to start with. Thank you so much for dropping in and leaving a comment I appreciate it.
Fun recollection,one for the books, that is for sure.Carpet is aligned now.
Thanks for the comment! It was an interesting morning, to be sure.
All vacuums have a mind of their own; they resist being controlled! 😉
They certainly seem to, thanks for the comment, I appreciate it very much.
Dear Ron,
You seemed to have a very interesting morning and the way you wrote it brought the fun into our lives.
I think men should use domestic appliances more- my husband would be like you too, I think if he had to vacuum something. He gets into a fit only when he thinks someone is going to visit our home and he needs to put a shine on things. At other times, he lets sleeping dust bugs lie.
Susie
I like to try to share things that happen in a funny light. I help Michelle wherever I can since her back is bad. I do dishes, floors, walls, shampoo carpet and mop. The Vacuum just seemed to hate me that morning. Thanks for the very nice comment Susie.
I just caught up with all my comments for the day, for some crazy reason several comments from today went to the spam folder. I hope I have that fixed now. Someone else said they were having the same problem on their blog.
I am quite certain it was not fun when you see the destruction but I could not help feeling funny reading this.
If it had not been old carpet I would have been upset. I’m glad you enjoyed the post though. I wrote it tongue-in-cheek to laugh at the craziness of it. Thanks for the comment.