My first post in nearly a month. The only thing I can think of to write about, is the dysfunctional atmosphere. Fate has brought about circumstances that are beyond our control. A visit by Eddie, the brother-in-law that was supposed to be here for three weeks, is now three months and counting. At least this time they (so far) are self-sufficient. We wound up on this level, due to the mother-in-law taking a turn for the worse during his visit. We now have her on Hospice, just waiting.
My living room, where I would seek quiet and relaxation, is now always filled with four elderly dachshunds, and two human Griswold types, that have no social skills. They sit on opposite sides of the living room, Face Chatting, or whatever they call it, video chatting with their kids or family. I’m sorry, I don’t really care to hear both sides of your conversation over the program I’m trying to watch. I hesitate to say anything, there is so much undercurrent of sadness from the situation of the terminally ill mother.
There are some positive things. The extra female in the house (Eddie’s wife, lets call her Catherine, like the movie) helps take some load off Michelle. Getting up all hours when she hears her mother calling on the baby monitor, has worn her out, so the two women take turns with the monitor duty. I’ve gotten a bathroom floor repaired, a ramp built just before the person it was for, took a turn for the worse. Some leaks stopped by replaced shingles, which were promptly blown off 2 days later along with some siding, by a violent thunderstorm. I’m still not sure, if three repairs in three months is much progress.
Ever met someone that “puts on” as we say in the South. A person who is trying their best to show they are helping, yet at the same time raises the stress level several notches. Eddies wife, likes to take care of “Momma” as she calls her, with the most fake southern twang possible. She spends time in the bedroom of the terminally ill mother-in-law, which is located next to my office. Instead of just talking to her, and going along with the end time delirium the poor woman is going through, Mrs Griswold wants to talk loudly continually correcting her, trying to make sure she gets the point across, that she is imagining things. Why correct a terminally ill person, that is seeing their loved ones again in a delirium. At that moment they are happy, stop smashing the mirror of the moment, and causing more stress. However, I am just short of pulling a Clark Griswold scene from the movie.
So the Griswold Christmas Vacation continues into the new year. There will be no sequel. Next year, there will be a prominent “No vacancy” sign on this home.
Comments welcome,
Where’s the Tylenol..
Perhaps there is an end in sight. Even a bad movie has to end.
That is a great way to look at it, Kate. Even a bad movie has to end, I like that.
Sorry to hear about the mother-in-laws turn for the worse. Sounds to me like you are handling the living situation better than most would. Hang in there.
Thanks, Kathy. If it wasn’t for Michelle needing the help, I would run them down the road.
Putting others needs before your own is a great quality, good for you.
I would have nowhere near the patience you have. I hope you find the peace you desire soon.
As strange as it sounds, Janis. I sit there and watch them, and think of how I can make use of the craziness. Like writing about it here. Sometimes, you just have to marvel at the actions of supposedly intelligent people. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate every one of you fellow bloggers.
Dear Ron, Other than running out to the road and screaming “I’ve lost my mind,” take the dogs and spend hours away.
Good idea, Lara. We plan to do that as soon as possible. Michelle will have the sister-in-law sit for a few hours, so maybe we can slip away for a bit.
I think you are showing remarkable resilience, Ron. Lesser men might have caused no end of fuss.
I would like to say that you will look back on this and laugh. But I suspect you will not want to look back on it at all. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
Yes, Pete. There will be times to look back on and laugh, and there will be times that are sad. We should look for the light and pleasant moments at that time. Like you, I know some that would have made things worse by getting ugly about it. I just bite my tongue and grin for Michelle’s sake. Thanks for the comment and encouragement, friend.
Congratulations on the patience you have had so far. May you soon have the peace and quiet you need.
Thanks, I think the patience has been slowly killing me though. For eleven years, we have had her living with us, She was hell to live with all that time, so smug and spoiled. Michelle had made a promise to her Dad when he was passing, that she would never place her in a home. The last five years, have seen a stroke, and major heart attack, a near nervous breakdown. I want to not have to take medication all the time just to smile. Thanks Anne, and everyone for such words of support. It means the world to me.
Sending healing energy to your mother-in-law. And hoping for peace for you and Michelle.
Thank you, so much. There will be peace at some point, as long as there is hope.
Wow. As a homeless woman said to me yesterday “I guess it can always get worse.” Well my total sympathies. If you lived closer I would let you sit in our warm finished basement and enjoy the quiet. In the meantime my love to Michelle as her mother leaves you.
Thanks, Elizabeth. I’ll forward your love to Michelle. It could be worse, and we have seen worse and weathered it. I’m sure a time will come, where Michelle and I can sit in front of the fireplace, sip something warm, and have all this behind us. The Griswolds will be sent down the road, and a No Vacancy sign posted. They are at least paying their share this visit.
OMG, Ron. I agree with Anne Mehrling, and in fact everyone else! I would try to spend as little time as possible in that – may I say – loony bin! Can you escape at least once a day for a few hours? With Michelle? Oh geez I hope so!! And do you also have a TV in your own bedroom where you can escape for a while? Or do you have a tablet you could watch movies or read books on? Ay yi yi. Has the doctor given a prognosis for your MIL? 🙁
No real escape, Ellie. Michelle has her tablet, and lies on the couch listening for her mother to call her. I work around the house, and play on my computer. The quietest time is early morning before Mrs Griswold gets up, and waddles through the house making noise. Pretending to be helpful, which she is to some small degree.
There is nothing left to do for the MIL according to the doctor. She lays awake all night talking to the air, tries to get out of bed constantly. Then sleeps all day. My entertainment, is in my office, where I can retreat at times and watch TV or work with the computer. I try to be sociable and be with everyone when I can. I think writing about it, and trying to poke fun at it, is the best coping mechanism at the moment. I’m glad I have blogging friends.
Well thank goodness for your computer, your office, and blogger pals for support! And for your finely honed sense of humour – and patience. You must really adore Michelle!
So sorry, Ellie. I’m still playing a bit of catch up from the visit, and the storms. I thought I had replied.
Yes, I really do adore Michelle, she is my soul-mate.
Thanks so much for the nice comment.
Ron, there is no comments box on your latest post. I hope you enjoy the much-needed peace, and your precious time alone together.
Best wishes, Pete.