On a Lighter Note

Lighthearted Posts

Ignorance, can be fixed. Stupid is forever. My Cynical Sunday, in the South.

~ Ron Walker ~ 28 Comments

Things you might need for this post. Air-sickness bag, sense of humor, compassion, wonder, ability to not lose your mind. Also, please turn off your horrible grammar filter, the examples contained within, are atrocious. There are times, when I can find the funny, in most things in the Trailer Park Kingdom.  Other times, I get full I guess, and have to let it out. Much like a capacitor needs to be drained at intervals.

I was really enjoying Saturday, then I met the new park owner/manager, and his “assistant” who lives in the park. They are doing a survey of how many pets each home has. Yea, my first thought too. The nice gentleman is the son of the (owner) of the park. He was polite and well-dressed. For some unknown reason, they feel the need to make sure there are not too many pets in the park. Then he asked the stupidest question, “Do you have any of your 5, that you could do without?” First thought in my mind, was we will need a new park flunky, after Michelle dismembers him. Michelle asked him if he had kids, and if he would give up any of them. It was a tense moment, lasted way to long,  but I survived. Michelle let him live.

“YouTube Boy”

The 16-year old and his Mom drop by. Seems she needs Michelle to take another look at her son’s ear. Let’s go ahead and assign him a park name, even though they don’t live out here, “YouTube Boy”. I stand there listening to this exchange, as the mother explains she hasn’t gotten him to the doctor yet. Michelle glances at me, and I just shrug my shoulders. She looks for a good while and then announces she can see nothing moving, or black like before. Take him to the doctor, please! Earwigs don’t eat holes in the ear canal, it is something that is carnivorous apparently.

Sometimes, you have the compassion of a rock.

 It has been 6 days! The young man has already slept, attended school, and watched countless YouTubes, while listening to a crunchy sound, as he described it 6 days ago. Again, Michelle tells the mother to get him to a doctor, and have it checked. She can’t see anything, but there are two holes in his ear canal. Mom says, “Maybe, it just came out”. I said, “Maybe it went the other way, it won’t stay long I’m sure”. The Mom giggles, the boy just grins big. Michelle says, “RON!, sometimes you have the compassion of a rock!” I head on back to the man-cave and peace. I have ?compassion, just a low tolerance for repeated stupidity.

Maybe it did leave, maybe it died of overexposure to YouTubes. Maybe… it’s still munching away, in sweeter hunting grounds. (Apply air-sickness bag here)

Apparently, we haven’t moved the intelligence needle one bit.

You have to wonder how we come to accept mediocrity and below, in those chosen for positions of responsibility. I was researching something, and ran across some fantastic grammar examples. I thought of our friend Ellie, how she would so enjoy this horrible stuff. These are reviews posted on the Internet, by security guards that were supervisors. Apparently, we haven’t moved the intelligence needle one bit. I was reading this same drivel in 1977, from a Park Ranger supervisor over 12 Rangers, he was attending college. So let’s have a laugh.

Supervisor
It OK just some of the supervisors shoe favoritism certain people vet away with a lot of stuff and some get fussed at or sent home and also fired they just not right

The best one ( I removed city names, they were deep south)
Supervisor (Major) over 40 Security employees
I was in management, on the Cost of xxxxxx I ran the Port of xxxxxx Security side. I was a Major in rank. Working with the Port Police was very enjoyable they were there for my security officer, When the company was not. I found it hard to talk with my higher up, trying to get what my officer needed , the officer would call the main office in Florida to found out about what they ask me take care of, Also including the Port Police request, the office would tell them they did not know about it.or I did not take care of it, it got to the point I would cc in the officers and the Chief of of Port Police so they would no when office was not tell the truth. I was ask to step down as the Major of the Port of xxxxxxx or be fired . And to tell the Port Police it was my idea. I did so because I had a family that had to take care of. I found a job and left 3 weeks later. The officers that work for me all 40 of them were wonderful and so was the Port Police. I miss all of them , But I was told if I tried to go to Head Quarters they would ruin me. So main office thinks I step down. I will not subject this company to anyone. And would talk to HQ now if they want to know what was going on then.

 

Time for me to go, I need to check on what appears to be a paper plate, that has been energetically disassembled in the living room.

Comments welcome,

Lets Cull Stupidity… Tide Pods, Dew Shine, what’s next.

~ Ron Walker ~ 15 Comments

How have we reached this pinnacle of mindless stupidity about some things. Are we inbreeding it from pampering those without commonsense?

In today’s society if you don’t put a warning on a product for the stupid people, then you risk being sued. This seems to be raising a society of mindless, non self-thinking humans that rely on instructions to replace intelligence and common sense.

I just went outside and looked at a wrapper that I put back around the old fan belt that I removed from my vehicle a few months ago. I was wondering if the same ‘stupid person’ warning was still printed on them. Sure enough, there it was. “Under Belt Replacement Guide” it says, #1  Make sure Engine is Off, and Battery disconnected.

Okay, disconnecting the Battery is a good idea and taught to most that have been anywhere under a hood working on an engine. How stupid do you have to be to stand there looking at a running engine, trying to figure out how to get a fan belt on the pulleys, that are spinning at maybe 1000 rpm idling.

Or how about sitting in the bathroom on your throne looking for something to read. Picking up the toilet bowl cleaning refill box you read, “Not for personal Use”. Is that warning necessary? If your smart enough purchase the product because you need something powerful enough to clean a nasty toilet bowl, go to the register and pay for it, then you should be able to at the very least, have “walking around smarts”.

To look at the item and realize it has a highly abrasive cleaning pad, and the name “Clorox”, meaning it is chock-full of bleach, and possibly other caustic cleaning agents. What kind of special Stupid do you need to be, to use it while showering, or bathing, and cleaning your underarms with it?

Oh yea, let’s not forget the warning on Blow Dryers.  “Do not use while showering”

I bought a flashlight not long ago, on the precautions it advises “To Wear protective eye gear, and gloves.” For a regular flashlight, Then we have the lighters many use on BBQ grills. The long nosed ones, full of propane. I thought the warnings were pretty good. Then I finished reading, and realized they had not covered one very MAJOR ITEM. How about adding, Do not use in the presence of explosive gases or vapors. They waltzed right by that one. So someone, somewhere, will use it in a dark area for illumination, while looking for a stinky gas leak.

Perhaps a generation without the stupid warning labels would cull out the inbreeding of stupidity, and the stupid brainless ones that carry the gene. Of course that is just fantasy, no one wants to see someone die, just because they are stupid.

An old craze is gaining momentum among the younger of the world, or maybe just the US. As far back as 2013, there was the TIDE laundry Pods challenge.  Teens eating Tide Laundry Pods as a challenge? Insane doesn’t cover it. Then you have kids were mixing racing fuel with Mountain Dew Soda.  They call it DewShine. Several teens have died in the last 2 years. The abuse of energy drinks by kids and adults is on the rise. Fire Challenge, setting themselves on fire.

Have we just taught our young adults, to be dumb?

Comments Welcome,

Getting older, non-gracefully . (No pun intended)

~ Ron Walker ~ 21 Comments

This is meant as a tongue in cheek post regarding aging, of things I am noticing, and trying to laugh at. There is nothing to be done, aging is just a life process we all share. I have taught myself to fight the frustration of age, by laughing with it, or about it. No need for depression, panic, despair, always try to keep hope alive. Some of us have ailments that are serious, and there is no humor to be found in them. Maybe getting a laugh at those of us that are still stumbling (No pun intended. Well, perhaps a little.) in our effort to reconcile, that we must have stepped through a time portal. Yesterday was just here. Along with my eyesight, hearing, hair, coordination, sharp memory. Oh, and hair. Did I mention hair?

How’d I miss that! (Attention to detail)

Once was the time when I would enter a room, size up any dangers, any hazards. I still try to do that to keep the brain functioning. At home? I go on auto-pilot because it is home. I am supposed to be relaxed, and I generally am, that explains the scratches on my back, and the prompt for this post.

Reboot, my loyal feline, loves to lay on the back of the high-backed leather desk chair. She routinely falls asleep and falls off. Yes, she lands on her feet. This morning, I entered the office and “plopped” (it’s an art) down in the chair. It apparently didn’t register, as I entered the room, that she was asleep on the back of the chair. She must have awakened at that precise moment. Instead of the sudden forward movement of the chair-back just moving out from under her, sending her to the floor, she must have activated her grappling hooks to hold on. This caused her to be slung forward and catapult onto my back. Her claws worked a lot better in my skin, than they did on the leather.

They say, It’s in the eye of the beholder.

Reading glassed are my friend, too much time on the computer may have led to this condition. My vision is fine at a distance without glasses, if there is enough light. I have mild night blindness that makes it hard to drive at night if it is raining. So, if I am very tired, and the lighting is not good in a room, I may miss something small.

We have the large cockroaches that hang around on the pecan trees in the backyard. From time to time, one will scurry into the house. Michelle freaks when she spots one, then she gags when the dog runs over and consumes it, instead of just killing it. I need to work with him on that.

About a month ago, in the early morning, I came into the office (my man cave).  My faithful legion was waiting there. One Great Dane, Two German Shepard’s, all three sprawled on the floor in various comical poses. I suddenly spot the cockroach on the floor near the Dane. I’m trying not to spill the cup of coffee in my hand, usher out the dogs quickly before one of them spots it, and keep an eye on the bug. Dogs go out, bug stays put, I grab a writing tablet and proceed to smack it.

I killed the hell out of that very small piece of dog blanket. Michelle, who has the eyes of a hawk at close range, picks that moment to come check on the commotion, as the dogs exited the room, and I kill the piece of dog bed. I’m still bent over, having just delivered the final killing blow. “Miss your medicine this morning”? Then she leaves giggling.  It’s our little joke, when one of us does something weird or out of place.

Did you hear that? 

My hearing is getting weird. The last two years or so the left ear has gone about 75% deaf, also sounds like a group of Cicada bugs in the distance. I’ve noticed as I got older, the music is too loud, and everyone mumbles.

I have to marvel that I seem to have surround sound now. Certain tones come through fine on the left side. I can watch a movie, explosions or ticking clocks of certain frequency, or maybe footsteps come from the left, and the rest of the movie sound on the right. Sometimes it’s cool. I can hear some sounds on the left, that others can’t. I’ll deal with it.

Plug that leak!

I have type 2 Diabetes, I’m on an aspirin a day regimen, not sure if it’s really for my heart, or my mothers-in-law talking. Therefore, if you puncture, scrape, or otherwise break my outer epidermis, which I have noticed looks awfully thin these days, I will continue leaking the red lubrication that keeps us running smoothly. I keep Michelle busy running for band-aids, she acts like I may run out of blood at any moment. I also contribute to the increased profits of band-aid sales at the Dollar General across the street.

Short Term Memory
(I forgot…)

 

So, while we can, laugh at adversity, smile in the face of uncertainty, hold onto.. Uh, hope, or was that rope. Uh,slope? Never mind, I forgot.

Share your journey with us all. Comments welcome.

They say every village has it’s Idiot, Why break the tradition.

~ Ron Walker ~ 18 Comments

It’s 5:30 am, I am awakened by sounds like the maintenance helper going by on his pieced together riding lawn mower. It’s still dark out there. One girl on the back street already threatened his continued existence,  if he woke her up again at 5:30 am to cut her grass.

On the second lap past our place (he is making a circuit of the main street that runs through the park like one large block). I get up and go to the office to peek out. There he is on lap three, big brimmed hat on his head, there is a very light misty rain falling. He actually has headlights on the thing. No muffler to speak of, but lights. He stops the laps and starts driving up and down the front road where the mailboxes are. My neighbor comes out of his house looking for the noise. I’m sure he knows what it is, before he looks.

I grab the cell phone when he was making another pass a good bit later around 6 am, so I can record the craziness, just in case he gets squashed on the roadway. He always rides down to the station for coffee in the mornings. Now it was still pretty dark, the camera made it look lighter, but you can see the streetlights are still on. I’m not sure what he was trying to do this morning, maybe charge up the battery on his mower by riding it around? That should be a waste of time with the headlights going.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB-Gpe_EN7E

In the video, you see him going up the wrong side of the highway. You can also hear him a good way off, at the start of the video. He is idling most of the time, but you should hear it when he accelerates.

I have now dubbed him “Daredevil David”. This is the same fella that stands over a septic tank with a shovel, scooping it into the bed of a pick up truck, while smoking. Nothing more daredevil, than standing over a huge pocket of methane, while your smoking.

He’s a nice enough guy when you talk to him, and always helpful. He just has his own quirks, like many of us. I am told, he has had 4 DUI’s in the past and is banned from driving. So he uses the mower on the highway and the shoulder for transportation. I remember having to arrest a man once, for driving intoxicated on a riding mower. It always reminds me of the story about George Jones the deceased country singer, when he was supposedly arrested for the same thing.

I think we all should pitch in for a new muffler for his birthday. That, or dig a wild animal pit.

Comments always welcome,