Trailer Park Life

Life in a Trailer Park can sometimes be funny, sad, crazy or plain interesting.

Flying SD cards, Safety Rails, that aren’t safe.

~ Ron Walker ~ 21 Comments
My Flying SD Card

I have babied this porcelain demon for 3 years.

It started, as a quiet Sunday. So it seemed like a nice day to tinker around the house. My first project, was to fix the commode that was leaking past the plunger. You know, the type that every so often you hear the inlet valve turn on to refill the tank level. I also mentally picture the water bill increased. I have babied this porcelain demon for 3 years. There are no replacement parts (ancient 1986 model), but this month I will replace the entire thing. In the meantime, I gather the small tube of LocTite Super Glue, A tube of FlexGlue (as seen on TV), and set out to conquering this leaky waste disposal unit.

I notice the super glue missing

I removed the top of the tank and gingerly sat it astride the commode seat, the seat cover is gone, having long since surrendered to the mother-in-law’s girth. I placed the super glue and the flex glue on the tank lid, giving both stern instructions to “stay”. First step is to turn off the water. Next, flush the commode. As I watch the fascinating swirling of the water, and try to remember which way it swirls in the southern hemisphere, I notice the super glue missing. It’s nowhere to be found. Finishing the best repair possible, I caution the mother-in-law, to restrain from flushing it like she’s pumping water from an old well.

Actual bar

After replacing the tank lid on the commode, I straighten up and turn to leave. That is when I had a brain misfire, or Vertigo as the professionals like to tell me. While trying to catch my balance, I was fortunate to have the use of the Safety Bar I had installed for the mother-in-law. As I said earlier, she has girth. The bar is heavy duty, and bolted into the studs just outside the shower. It was sturdy enough, that I was able to strike my head on it sufficiently, to slow my tilting progression. Only I could complete such a maneuver.

Flying SD Cards

My head still thumping, I decide to sit in the office and swap out an SD Card in the tablet. Press and release it says. So I press, my fingernail isn’t that big and the card slips. It left the tablet on an upward trajectory, reaching about 4 feet and disappeared behind the small office fridge. After retrieving it, a crazy thought entered my mind, perhaps from the earlier blow to the head. I rummaged in the desk and found the package for the SD Card. Of all the crazy warnings/precautions they place on products, they failed to caution the user with short fingernails, to use protective eyewear.

The dogs looked entertained

We’ll close this now. No need in going into how I dripped boiling water on my bare foot while making tea to help my headache. The dogs looked entertained, watching an old stumpy guy dancing around shouting metaphors. If they’d had hands, they would have clapped.

So how was your Sunday?

Yard Sale and entertainment. Trailerhood Style.

~ Ron Walker ~ 20 Comments

Nothing like an early morning yard sale on a Saturday. Especially, when you can have some entertainment at the same time. This past Saturday, we set up a small yard sale about 1000 feet down the road, in a small clearing near the storage buildings. Around 6:30 am I heard what sounded like two gun shots. I thought perhaps it was a hunter in the woods across the road.

About 30 seconds later, we see a stocky white male running around the front of the house in this picture about 200 feet from us, and then run around behind the house, as if he were hiding. Moments later he reappears from behind the house, looking like a squirrel trying to dodge an oncoming vehicle. Sprints across the yard and jumps the fence, then runs towards our trailerhood. The area is soon swarmed by sheriff’s deputies. We learn that the two shots were fired by a homeowner of the house that the young man was trying to break into.

To make his day even worse

The county finally located and apprehended him in the trailer-park, he probably lives or stays with someone in the park. He was more than likely looking to score some easy loot, to sell for crack. To make his day even worse, after being shot at, he starts having chest pains and goes into a full-blown panic attack. An ambulance arrives and checks him out, then he is carted off to jail. He may have had a worse day, had he attempted to rob us of the change we had for the yard sale instead of burglarizing a house. I had a weird feeling that morning, so carried my licensed concealed firearm, as did Michelle.

It’s a sad statement of our society, when you have to arm yourself just to have a yard sale. Yes, Spring is here, the weirdos are starting to thaw out.

Comments welcome,

Revenge, of the Spiders.

~ Ron Walker ~ 13 Comments

As some will recall, I battled the Spider horde in August, and won. Or so I thought. 

Last Thursday night, while sitting on the couch watching TV, I felt a pinprick to my left elbow. I looked and saw nothing on the arm of the couch, nor close by. Friday, it was itching, I wanted to use a rasp file to scratch it. Saturday it was starting to swell some. Sunday it was sore to the touch and turning red. 

Monday I visited the doctor, who gave me some antibiotics (oral). It slowed down the swelling, and I felt we would survive this one.

Wednesday, I awakened to a terrible pain, the swelling was immense, and there were red streaks up and down my arm. This happened overnight. Back to the doctor. I was given an injection of some type of very strong antibiotic, and told to continue with the Bactrim twice a day, soak the elbow three times a day and apply prescribed ointment.  Overnight, the swelling went down about 80% red streaks vanished. 

Thursday when I got up, there was redness once again, along with a slight increase in the swelling at the puncture site. So, back to the doctor. Doctor advises give it one more day, if not improving, then it may need to be opened up. 

It’s now Friday morning, about the same condition, but there is redness along the bottom of my arm. The skin is sore to the touch in that area. 

  • Bite Mark, only one fang?
  • Redness returned

This had to be a special spider that the other survivors hired. I can just imagine him, small,  muscular. With one of those stupid bandannas around his head. Maybe some type of ninja symbol on his back. A scar near one of his eight eyes. Anyway, who the hell needs eight eyes! He could have succeeded in his “hit” with his eyes closed and three legs tied behind his back.

So I will spend this nice Friday, somewhere besides where I’d like to be. At least I’m alive to be there. 

Don’t worry, I plan retaliation on a grand scale. 

Comments welcome,

The logic escapes me. Trailerhood Tales

~ Ron Walker ~ 11 Comments

Sometimes, when you find yourself talking to someone and the conversation suddenly goes from normal, to off the rails, you have to stop and look around. Maybe do a visual hand check to make sure you don’t suddenly have six fingers, and this isn’t some new dimension you have slipped into, and what your hearing is normal.

Please, I just came for my mail

A simple trip to the mailbox turns into a stomach churning information overload. Please, I just came for my mail. A woman who sounded normal when the conversation started at the boxes, asked for my help in looking out for her ex-husband. Seems he is a permanent guest at the state Iron Bar Hotel. Having received 2 life sentences for numerous violent felonies. Of course here in our state, nothing is permanent. I guess they don’t want to have to feed inmates for two lifetimes, so they shorten it. She has to appear at parole hearings every few years to tell them that he has written and called her, promising to kill her when he gets out. Then, it all goes sideways

 drains are not designed for that

She says the reason she is telling me this, was he was very abusive and cruel to her for years. He would throw plates of food at her if the mood struck him, or the food was not right. He would also knock her around after a few drinks. When she got to the part where he showered, and defecated in the shower, and forced her to clean it up and  having to call a plumber, as tub drains are not designed for that. I stood there like a shell listening, mentally ticking off a list of things to do, like get a Cat Scan, count my fingers again, stare really hard to make sure she’s really there. While inside my stomach was doing a pre-check list for liftoff of its contents. I really don’t remember the rest of the conversation honestly.

I find out later, that she is trying to collect money from her ex-husband. She has been told by some lawyer, that she should sue her ex-husband for unpaid child support for their son, who is in his late twenties. One, little, catch. If he’s incarcerated, he can’t work. He has to be gainfully employed to be forced to pay past child support. She decides receiving a check from him is the way to go, so does not contest his release at the next hearing. I’ve heard nothing else about it, no homicide has occurred. So, was it all made up? Maybe he is a thug, Apparently he has enough smarts to high-tail it away once free. 

This, is Trailerhood Logic.

I think I’ll go now, and count my fingers. Comments always welcome,