(Semi-Humor) Christmas family gathering, in the big City.

Good morning, everyone. Nice bright sunshine starting off this cool morning. No plans for today, just waiting for the family gathering to take place Sunday. I think I mentioned it is going to be at a restaurant this year. I don’t like crowds anymore, and I certainly don’t like Montgomery, Al. Which barely ranks below Chicago in shootings and murders per year.

I can’t decide on which bulletproof vest to wear. The dark gray one with the ceramic breastplate insert, or the black one with the hardened steel chest insert. So hard to dress for these occasions in Montgomery. Both would be under a shirt anyway. 7 of us will be armed, all fashionably concealed. 3 40s, 2 45s, and 2 9mm. I’m hoping for a large table, near a back entrance, for easy exit with the grandkids. Such a shame to have to joke about this. But in my time living there, I dined in two establishments, as they were robbed, been the victim of an attempted robbery, drove up to two convenience stores while they were being robbed. All that, twenty years ago. It’s no better today.

And before you ask. Yes, it sounds like a big democrat run city, which it is. In the 60s – 70s’s, we had republican mayors and low crime, so effective was the mayor, the mob bosses of the massage parlors he closed down, tried to assassinate him. He served 4 terms, then a democrat got in, and through freebies and handouts, they have remained in power till now. Can’t keep a superintendent of education, because they all skim money or sell favors. They hire black big city police chiefs, the last one from Detroit, who didn’t stay long. We have people moving from there in droves. So if you’re looking for a house, you can get one for 1/3 the original price. There are no upscale areas. Every section of Montgomery has crime or low class thugs living in assisted homes or apartments. The main mall closed down some years ago due to violence. Some areas the police don’t go into. Did I mention they have active gang members on the force? Yea. Maybe it’s to help them relate to the clientele.

For an idea of how crazy it is. The last mayoral election, which the incumbent won. Two candidates had these suggestions. I kid you not. I got to hear them on the news as they spoke in front of the council.

  1. One candidate wanted to draw more chicken places back to the city, like the Popeye chicken restaurants that were popular but had left (due to robberies). He suggested If they had more places like that to meet and hangout, there would be less trouble. I’m not sure which rock he had lived under for the last 20-30 years. But never fear, another candidate outdid him in the stupid department.
  2. Another candidate, said he would have the city build more community centers. To give the young people somewhere to go and hang out, play basketball or sports. Then, they wouldn’t have the energy to go out and do drive-by shootings and fight. Of course, they already have about 9 sitting in disrepair due to crime and drug dealing, causing them to close down. 

But anyway, it’s Christmas, and Millennials think they are bulletproof, so they want to go to a restaurant in Montgomery. I’m going with loose fitting clothes, the black body armor under a festive Santa Sweater, with steel chest insert over the heart, my 40cal and three magazines, Maybe a boot knife. :D Is that overdressed? If you have any suggestions for my ensemble, let me know, I hate to dress tacky when going out.

Michelle will probably sport her boots, 40cal Glock concealed of course, with three magazines, and her diamond stud earrings. They sparkle so nice in the glow of muzzle flashes. She will probably go with her custom purple body armor, under the Christmas sweater I got her last year. Even though it’s a buffet, I’ll eat light. Hard to run at my age, on a full stomach. By the way, I’m wearing my new all black running shoes.


Comments, always welcome.