drivers

It snowed today, our world, stood still.

~ Ron Walker ~ 17 Comments

Others laugh when I describe our region after a snow. Our world stops, dead. This is the south, center part of the south really. We used to see snow maybe, once every 6 or so years. Then came global warming, no wait, that’s supposed to make it hotter? But it snows more? That line of thought gives me a headache.

Schools are out early (But I have a plan!)

Areas 50 miles north of us see snow nearly every year. For the last 10 years, we have had it at least, once every other year. Then it is only a little and gone in an hour or so. Today, we have a full on blizzard looking snowfall. It is covering everything in about 3 inches so far. Schools are out early, cars are plowing into power poles, the ones that miss the poles are filling the ditches. This is an interesting area when your county law-enforcement supervisors, feel the need to announce over the radio, to advise all units to use caution while driving. Really?

 

Who wants to get their man-card suspended

Drivers here just scoot along like it’s talcum powder on the roadway. Snow chains? Rednecks use them on hunting boots during Deer season, not on tires. They laugh, who wants to get their man-card suspended for using silly chains. On Facebook right now, those with the huge trucks sporting the 40-inch wheels, and elevated up in the air by 3 feet, are asking if anyone needs a tow from a ditch. Sure, pull them out of the ditch, just how far are they going to go once they are freed, just down to the next ditch? Pole? That is the thinking in these parts, scary I know. The big tires, and jacked-up ground clearance, will count for zilch on icy roadways.

 

I heard Russia has offered Alabama, use of their old snow-plows.

Of course even in this crazy weather We have the trailer park denizens to enjoy. Johnny Reb took a ride around the park, cutting through our yard. Typical of him he had to do it fast in the snow. Dressed all in black, hoodie up to cover his head, he almost reminded me of the Grim Reaper. His stumpy self nearly met the reaper, as he veered through our yard sliding  very close to the ditch, He apparently didn’t realize how slippery that mush was. Of course, it was over before I could get my phone camera going.

David the maintenance man, was seen tooling through the snow fall on his way to his buddies house. I heard him coming a block away. Several vehicles have exited the park onto that roadway playing. One went side to side spinning tires, another did a complete 360, probably needs a change of pants. They do it on purpose! To think they also breed… 

The snow is still falling, the coffee is making, and the fireplace is warming up. See you all later.

Noise pollution.

~ Ron Walker ~ 16 Comments

Today there was an accident on the Interstate north of us about 12 miles north of us. Traffic was diverted from the Interstate onto our highway. About 3 miles past us southbound is the next on-ramp for the Interstate. Traffic has been at a crawl out front since 3PM and it is now 8PM.

Accompanying this slow, very slow, procession of traffic are the large trucks hauling goods or pulp-wood. They seem to delight in using the exhaust bypass called a Jake brake. I have blogged on this before, calling them Whoopee cushions on wheels. Some of them are loud, some rattle the windows, evoking memories of youth testing the theory of hearing loss as we stood in front of giant speakers at a concert.

The day would not be complete without the regular traffic heading in the opposite direction. Many of which have just sat through a congested intersection and are ready to speed their way homeward. They are the 4 wheel Redneck version of Noise Pollution. Of course, I have written about them in the past. These people are just a tad old in my opinion, to be making noise just for the sake of making noise!

Comments welcome,

 

Carrying the Green Movement too far?

~ Ron Walker ~ 13 Comments
The new “Green” vehicle?

I had to run into the big city on an errand. The sun was out bright so I opted to take the Harley for the ride in. I was a bit dismayed as a sunny ride turned into rainy looking clouds over a short period of time. Then I happened up on this and it helped me find some humor in the less than optimal trip.

My apologies for the picture quality. The picture was taken while sitting on my motorcycle at a red light, from a cell phone camera.

We all want to be ‘Green’ and save the Earth, but I was shocked when I pulled up behind what appeared to be a giant bush, at a traffic light. Of course I knew it wasn’t really a bush, but all I could do was shake my head at the insanity.

It was a small compact type truck, fully invisible from the rear, loaded down with limbs from some type of bush.The driver was an elderly man, with a big cigar in his mouth. He had a sour look on his face as I passed him, like he’d maybe swallowed a lemon whole, or the cigar was too soggy.

I spent a long time on the way home, and sitting here now, just thinking up comical captions for it, or crazy/funny scenarios to say about it.

  • One first thought was he will thump ashes out the window and maybe catch the rolling bush on fire. Then someone could report what appears to be a low fast comet streaking down the highway, as he tries to stay ahead of the flames.
  • Or maybe you light it, and it becomes a new mosquito repelling truck.
  • It was about to rain, maybe the wife had him watering the plants as he drove to the store.
  • Maybe he was a left over fanatical Prepper from the 2012 survival craze trying to conceal his vehicle, Then he wouldn’t be seen and lead someone back to his secret bunker.
  • Another was some unfortunate person not paying attention (think millennial yuppie texting), Doesn’t see the mess in front of them stopped, and rear ends into it. I could just hear them calling 911. “911, please state your emergency”. Driver: “Yes, I’m not sure, but I think I just ran into a bush in the road?”. I wonder also. If the old man drove off after the impact, would he technically be “Leafing the scene?”

If you can think of something else to label it with, or describe it, have at it. It’s amazing what you can drive in this state.

Comments welcome, (no open flames please)

I just love Karma when it works

~ Ron Walker ~ Leave a comment

Been enduring the ignorance of a young fella in the neighborhood. Old enough to know better (looks to be about 25) Just too stupid to do anything about it. Or maybe it’s all the ink from his Tats that has leaked to his brain.

Anyway, after weeks of hearing him start his car, rev up the engine and spin his tires up our short gravel street at all hours (probably making Beer runs to the store). Karma smiled on us and frowned on him. Maybe Karma was tired of listening to it also.

Before 8AM this morning I heard it start-up. I had just gotten up and got my first cup of Coffee and sat down at the computer. I heard him take off from in front of our house, throwing gravel as he went, he made it to the end of the street, and apparently remembering something, turned around and roared back down towards our houses that sit at the end of the street.

He was either not paying attention, or had a brain fart. Either way he hit his brakes as he passed his driveway and slid about 50 feet and perched his vehicle over the edge of a 4 foot ditch that is full of tangle vines and small brush trees. His left rear wheel is about 3 inches off the ground.

I watched as his people came out of the house where he stays and he stomped around like the world was to blame for his predicament. I watched him shovel, push, slam the car doors, at one point someone even out of stupidity tried to use a 4X4 piece of timber prying up on the rear? of the vehicle. If they had succeeded, they would have just pushed the car on over nose down in the ditch. Obviously not graduates of the simplest common sense.

I just sat in the recliner, sipped some good Coffee and marveled at the engineering prowess being displayed and the demonstration of radical temper as he threw things and stomped around.

It’s still there, perched and waiting. It has been quiet on the street with it stuck there. Do you have idiots on your street?

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