humor

Broke a quiet streak.

~ Ron Walker ~ 1 Comment

I was just sitting here this morning thinking that there had been nothing to remark about here in the Park lately. Kinda quiet like and nearly 2 weeks since any thing out of the ordinary. Then again it’s a trailer park so what is normal.

Then just before dark for some unknown reason idiots start firing off “mortar” type
redneckfireworks fireworks just down the street. Now what fool shoots fireworks for Memorial Day. Maybe their brain was too saturated with booze to remember you do that on July 4th. Either way all the dogs in the neighborhood were losing their minds.

Called the county and while speaking with the nice lady on the phone I realized how dumb it was. This is the county! No law against blowing yourself or the neighbors up with fireworks. Heck, you can shoot your gun in the street as long as your not drunk or shooting at other houses or people. Sometimes city living has it’s advantages. So we sat and watched TV interspersed with “Whoomps” and booms from the fireworks till they ran out of them or passed out, whichever must have come first, but at least it’s quiet now.

We “almost” made it two weekends without any weirdness. Now shooting of fireworks in and of itself is not weirdness, but shooting them DOWN the street instead of in the air is a bit strange when they are huge mortar type fireworks designed to be fired into the air.

Comments welcome, if I can hear them.

Stick a pin in it I’m done!

~ Ron Walker ~ 3 Comments

That’s it! I’m officially going to get a toy stuffed Truck and stick pins in it and sit in the dark and chant incantations to see the blasted loud vehicles blow their engines up as they pass the house. I need some type of satisfaction from this redneck pastime of loud mufflers, or in the case of some “no muffler”. Maybe they are trying to compensate for something with all the loudness of a mode of transportation, If they are it must be a tiny thing.

I tried 3 times tonight to add narration to a video I was editing and about halfway
rednecktruckthrough the narration Bubba, Cletus, Bo, Jim bob or whatever the mother named them during screaming labor pains comes blasting down the highway past the house. If it’s not a loud muffler, it’s no muffler. Failing that the guy in the small car that has all of 50 horse power has one of those so-called “Fart Can” mufflers supposed to make him feel like the movie Fast and Furious. It takes him a hideous 30 secs to travel about 50 feet winding up that toy engine.

Even while writing this piece at 9.45pm Mr. Hillbilly makes his regular pass in low gear trying to reach 55 mph in 2nd gear so his pipes sound like some ancient anguished hippo being mutilated. It’s not nice to wish bad on anyone, but I sure wish I would hear the sweet sound of bursting motor parts just as he pulled even with the house here on the highway. I would get me a cold chocolate Yoo-Hoo and sit on the porch and smile a big smile as the smoke poured forth from his vehicle like a Genie granted freedom.

I’m off to find some stick pins and one of the kids stuffed toy trucks, if you hear mumbling coming from my direction you’ll know I’m busy.

Comments welcome.

I lived to see it. Water for sale.

~ Ron Walker ~ 1 Comment

Growing up there were things we thought we would never see. Bottled Drinking Water was one of them. Sure we knew Mom and Dad paid a water bill, but it was for having running water in your home. As a kid we drank from water hoses, water fountains, and glasses of water at the restaurant that were complimentary. Never in our wildest dreams did we think people would be dumb enough to pay someone for a bottle of water.

Times change and here we are in a multi-billion dollar business of selling people bottledwater
something they could get out of a water fountain or at home. why? Because it’s cool, all the athletes do it, it’s cleaner, maybe in some places. Many people don’t realize that the FDA regulates bottled water and what passes for water under bottling conditions would not pass for the water that you use in your bathroom! Pretty crazy huh.

Add to that the fact that when purchasing a bottle of water to carry in your hand and look cool, by the time you add up what it would cost to fill a one gallon jug with it you pay $7+ dollars. Compare that to 1/10th of a penny per gallon for the average water from your tap. Plus the tap water has no Arsenic as a preservative.

  1. Arsenic. Arsenic is a poison. The FDA says that bottled water may have up to 0.05 milligrams per liter of arsenic. See 21 CFR 165.110.

They can continue to chug away on that water and be cool. Me? I’ll save that money for my pocket, and forego the Arsenic and pesticides. I had a friend stick her nose up the other day and declare that at least she wasn’t worried about pesticides in bottled water.

It doesn’t contain pestisides.? 

The FDA allows set levels of pesticides in bottled water. There are set limits for each of 29 different pesticides. People who purchase bottled water believe, normally, that they are avoiding pesticides by doing so. For a listing of these pesticides, see 21 CFR 165.110.

If your city water is bad then your using your head drinking bought water. If your city water is good, then you fit the quote of the old man.

Comment welcome,

Freaky Friday

~ Ron Walker ~ 1 Comment

Looks like it might be an active Friday. In Scanner news we already have one house fire in progress and one guy drunk and threatening to commit suicide in his front yard with a gun in his hand a short few miles from here. Says he will shoot any law enforcement that shows up. Jury is still out on that one right now. They should issue stupid crazy people guns like this. Then the only ones hurt are the crazies. Yea, sounds cold but I worked mental health 8 years. If your sane enough to get drunk and call attention to yourself, you’re not crazy, your drunk and want attention.

Update on our Motorcycle demon. He is of Mexican decent, living with or married to some southern girl of dubious intelligence with a 3 week old baby. He was over heard saying just before his disappearance last week that he had no Insurance, no license (and the motor had no tag) and the cops would never catch him. They caught him the other night as Karma apparently returned from a week-long vacation, he was leaving out like a Banshee and ran right up on the Sheriffs Patrol Unit sitting down the street waiting on him. He must still be in jail as we haven’t heard a peep out of that obnoxious motorcycle or seen him in a week now.

One ladies truck was broken into a few doors down and her stereo stolen. May not have been anyone from the Park though. Probably some local dope heads from nearby town looking for something to sell. Who steals Stereos anymore anyway.

Comments welcome,