Trailer Park

Weekend Started with a Bang! (Trailer Park Tales)

~ Ron Walker ~ 26 Comments

Our weekend starts on Friday around these parts. Some Park Denizens get an early start by calling out of work, that way they can start the happy juice consumption early. It has been active since yesterday with different things occurring.

I’m normally a calm person. My situational awareness has always been excellent, probably due to the years in police work. You normally can’t sneak up on me and startle me, loud noises don’t bother me. Since Friday, there has been a weird feeling, almost like some dark energy is hovering over the Park. For the first time in years I have been jumpy. It may be one of the new medications they started me on, or I’m just not as “cool” as I once was. Even my dogs are conspiring to see if they can contribute to the jumpiness.  So let us get started.

Friday morning, shouts from down the street, and spinning tires, caught my attention. The scanner on the desk revealed that the strange guy two doors down, that has the rebel flag in his yard, had called reporting there was a man and woman in his home with 2 children refusing to leave. I don’t know if they were relatives, or friends.

Friday evening another call goes out from a mother, in the back area, of the park, that had signed a warrant on her 27 year old son. He had returned to her residence and was arguing with her. Her Son takes off running down the street just as deputies arrive. He only makes it to the Dollar General Store where he is captured. Maybe he was looking for cheap justice. I could hear my ex-partner in my mind saying, “Don’t run, you’ll just go to jail tired.”

Later Friday night a call about someone burning obnoxious smelling material. The caller told 911, If they didn’t send someone out, they were going to kill the offender. Deputies came, no one killed.

That keeps you on edge, I don’t have to listen to the scanner, but if there is weird stuff happening, then I want an edge if some crazy that has just been in an altercation, bangs on my door frantically wanting to borrow the phone. That was enough for one day.

This morning, Saturday, I’m sitting here reading blogs and a HUGE boom is heard right outside. Something about that awful sound put me on edge, I was full-blown fight or flight. My first thought was someone fired a magnum sized pistol, or shotgun very close, or it was a huge impact of vehicles on the highway outside. Or, it could be 2 doors in the other direction where they man makes knives on a homemade forge. It may have blown up. Turns out it was a power transformer that blew the fuse on the pole. For those that don’t know. The “link” in the line is opened by the firing of a 410 shotgun shell charge that forces it apart to break the circuit.

I get back inside to the safety of my office and try to relax. Max and Midnight our male and female Shepherds are tussling on the floor behind me. I admonish them a couple times. Let me set this up some, I have a donated office chair that the MIL didn’t want after buying another one. It’s a nice chair, it has one little thing wrong. It has a pneumatic shock that you can adjust up and down for comfort. The lever is located on the right side under the seat. With age apparently the locking spring has weakened. You are supposed to set the height, push the lever in, and it locks in a notch so it can’t be bumped to let all the air out of the shock at once. Apparently they didn’t design it for rambunctious large dogs playing near.

They had once again started the wrestling match just behind me. I sat back in the chair and was about to shout at them to stop, when the world apparently dropped 10 or so inches. I swear I thought it was 10 feet. One of them had managed while wrestling below the chair, to strike the lever just right, unlocking and lifting it releasing the compression fully.

I decide to sit down in the living room and watch some TV on the 50inch. I lean back, let out a deep breath as I relax, and I turn it on. It winks/blinks at me and goes dark after selecting different. I check it as best I can, and can hear Doctor McCoy of Star Trek in my head saying “It’s dead Jim.” I suppose I can take comfort that it didn’t give a loud pop and smoke when it went out.

I’m recovering somewhat as I post this, but I swear,  if it gets any crazier around here, the laptop and I are going to the closet. Michelle can slide snacks under the door.

Comments welcome,

Trailer Park Follies: The Grass isn’t always greener.

~ Ron Walker ~ 16 Comments

In the “You just can’t make this stuff up” department, I have to talk about the craziness that people do. I would not have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes.

A young man, on the back street of the park had a run in with the owner over his yard not being neat. He hasn’t moved into the very small (30 foot) trailer yet. The guy is having to redo the inside of it where the last tenants tore it up, vandalized it. He is actually buying it from the owner of the park, that is why this whole thing is so bizarre.

He had thrown the old wall and ceiling material out beside the trailer in a pile to be hauled off. There was also some new lumber there, not a lot, but several pieces. The owner making his weekly rounds decided to haul it off, ALL of it, including the new wood. Plus charge the guy for hauling it off.  It is debatable whether the owner could tell it was new or not. You have to remember this is the same man that stopped and complimented me on how nice my trailer looked, yet it was at that moment covered with a good growth of green algae, from the winter. He was standing 10 feet away when he saw the trailer, or didn’t see it as the case may be.

The next week they spent arguing over the new guy’s grass needing to be mowed. It was rumored that the guy told some others,  he was going to get something from an agricultural friend that would stunt the growth of his lawn, so he doesn’t have to listen to the old man fuss. I took what I heard with a grain of salt, and told the purveyor of the tale that no one would be that stupid.

On my walk today, which I haven’t taken in about a week, I couldn’t help but notice this guys yard is a very light brown, compared to his neighbors lush green grass on either side. The idiot actually sprayed it with some type of chemical to semi-kill it. Personally I think the owner should have him arrested for defacing the lot/property he rents, and kicked out of the park. I didn’t see the guy do it, only heard through the rumor mill about his idea, so my information is hearsay. I have a feeling though that if the park owner notices it, there will be some fireworks and an eviction notice in the mail.

Sorry about the glare, but it was 7am this morning and the sun was in front of me, I was trying to surreptitiously take the picture. No need in having to confront some still half intoxicated redneck, that might be looking out from his window next door, trying to cure his hangover with a fresh beer.

Grass on left is brown (mostly dead) You can see the line where they stopped spraying, from the plants to the road. Sorry about the glare.

This guy is also going to be a subject of a later post. I have a rant about him and his “special needs”. Have you ever known someone that would go to such lengths to prove a point?

Comments welcome,

I’m 105 years old, who knew.

~ Ron Walker ~ 27 Comments

Ever had one of those weeks, where everything was eerily quiet, almost boring? That was my past week. My brain devoid of thoughts to put into type.

Then the morning started.

Looking back, l should have seen the wee hours incident as a portent to this morning. I was awakened by Michelle shouting in her sleep. She’s facing away from me, so like a loving husband, I gently take her shoulder and pull her to roll towards me to comfort her. She looks at me, then releases a blood-curdling scream. After she apparently reaches full awake, I ask what is wrong.

“I opened my eyes and looked at you, you looked 40 years older!”

Now I’m stumped, it’s around 2 am, I was just awakened by loud talking, my wife looks at me and screams. She scares the bejesus (is that even a word?) out of me, and probably the neighbors two doors down. The 2 little dogs that are sleeping in the bed scatter in different directions barking loudly, Reason? “I opened my eyes and looked at you, you looked 40 years older!”

Okay, so, I’m 65. Some say I look more like 50 but they are being kind. I was either good-looking in her dream, or I REALLY look horrible at 105! Either way the crisis is resolved. She’s back to sleep in 30 seconds, I lay there 30 minutes wondering what I look like at 105. It can’t be good.

The morning finally arrives. It’s Saturday, 6:30 am.

Picture blurry due to window glass, screen and distance.

I usually awaken around 5 am, on this morning I must have been enjoying some much-needed sleep, after the rapid aging I suffered in the night. There is what sounds like an industrial car crusher operating outside. Stumbling to a window I find out it is “David” our maintenance man cutting grass early. I have spoken to him and find him a simple but likable man. He works hard around the trailer park. On this morning he is operating his riding mower that is pieced together from many parts. He did however forget one part, the muffler!

The sound of a pet retching, should be an alarm sound.

The morning is going well as I sit here in the man-cave-computer room reading blogs. I’m trying to be very quiet this morning, since Michelle is recovering from having injections in her back yesterday. Then there is the sound. I have mentioned before how the sound of a pet retching, should be an alarm sound. Nothing will motivate you faster than to hear that while you are sleeping. Reboot is sitting on a very large guitar amplifier, making pitiful sounds like she has swallowed a plunger, which is trying to bring something up from her depths.

Max, our German Shepherd is showing his concern but poking her with his rather large noseMax. She answers with a swipe of a paw, which elicits a loud yelp. Staying quiet so as not to wake the entire house is no longer a viable option. I scoop her up and attempt to rush to the nearest potty pad at the back door. We don’t make it.

I dash to the kitchen to grab some paper towels for the cleanup.

Fortunately it is a very small amount she deposited on the floor just outside the office. The paper towel rack is, empty. No one EVER reloads it. So I’m in a hurry, trying to be quiet, and I drop the wooden rod that holds the towels suspended horizontally under the cabinet. Funny how things seem to slow down to a crawl when you know something bad is about to happen. The one-inch thick, several inch long rod falls so slowly it seems, then hits the floor and proceeds to bounce back and forth end to end as if it were possessed, performing a drum solo on the bare hardwood floor.

Getting the towels installed on the rack, hindsight reveals I should have just grabbed some towels and taken care of the mess first. I turn to see Max creeping up on the spot as if it were prey. I’m trying to admonish him from 25 feet away in a strong whisper “No!” He had his selective hearing on apparently. That is when my plunger started trying to work in my stomach.

Comments always welcome,

“Wacky Week News” in the Trailer Park.

~ Ron Walker ~ 38 Comments

After a long dry spell of no disturbances here in the park to speak of, this week decided it would break the blessed peace we had enjoyed. I should have known something was changing when the moon was still visible at 7am a couple of mornings. It’s not full, actually it is waning. Then there has been extra solar activity this week, maybe that’s it. Extra solar rays agitating the weak-minded.

The weirdness was confirmed as starting Tuesday when the park owner (that I call The Troll) came by on his riding mower. You can search for Troll on the Blog and get a sense of him. He’s elderly (very). He pulled alongside the fence on the road where I was working in the yard and spoke to me. I keep our place straight, I don’t like undue attention from anyone. You would think I was in a witness protection program. Naturally my first thought as he pulled up and cut the engine to the mower was, “I wonder what’s wrong now.”

I have since pressure washed my trailer

It turns out he was in a good mood and wanted to compliment me on how my yard looks. He asks, “Did you have your trailer painted?” I look over my shoulder at the light green algae that has started to grow all along this north side. “No, but I did pressure wash it last year.” I replied. Apparently he was trying to be nice for a change. I had been told he can’t see very well, He thanked me for being a great homeowner, fires up his mower, and with a wave he’s gone. I have since pressure washed my trailer.

The lady across the narrow park street got fired up once again Tuesday night over something, usually arguing with her grand-daughter that lives with her. She lets her two dogs out in her fenced yard to poop and bark. Then she comes to the back door that faces my place and dog cusses them (no pun intended) until they give up and come in the house.

The Pitt decides to try and eat a couple neighborhood Cats

Wednesday the church Sunday school class held their weekly meeting on the front porch of the trailer next door to the dog lady above. Someone in the group of 10 or so people thought it would be a great idea to bring a highly excited Pitt Bull with them. Now this is at the house where “Otis” lives. You may remember me mentioning Otis in an earlier post. The Pitt decides to try and eat a couple of neighborhood cats, he didn’t succeed, and nearly bit a kid, which prompted the Sheriff to be called.

The idiot confesses to the Sheriff

Thursday two doors down from us, the two neighbors that have had a running feud for the last year started up again. He was cussing and threatening to kill her and her dogs. She left, went to another residence in the park and called the Sheriffs. Now the funniest part is they were due to be in court today, Friday, because she signed a warrant for threats a month ago. The idiot confesses to the Sheriff that he did say he would kill her and her dogs. They put the confession in the police report.

The guy is a real piece of work. He flies a Confederate Flag in the very front of his yard near the street. He must be so proud. I stepped outside to get a picture to share. A little blurry since I had to zoom in. You can’t see his camper he lives in with his massive Rottweiler, but it is back and to the left of that flag nestled in between the two other trailers  and behind the boat that you see. The farthest trailer with the wooden fence is the one where the lady he threatened to kill lives.

 

Anyway, this is my first AND last time living in a trailer park. In a few months we will move this double wide to some private land and enjoy country peace. At least I don’t really feel like I live “In” the trailer park as we are out front next to the highway and on the corner. I at least feel like the park is behind us.

It is Friday night and I wonder if anything really weird will happen. Do you have crazy neighbors, or have you lived in a trailer park?

Comments welcome,