That’s it! I’m officially going to get a toy stuffed Truck and stick pins in it and sit in the dark and chant incantations to see the blasted loud vehicles blow their engines up as they pass the house. I need some type of satisfaction from this redneck pastime of loud mufflers, or in the case of some “no muffler”. Maybe they are trying to compensate for something with all the loudness of a mode of transportation, If they are it must be a tiny thing.

I tried 3 times tonight to add narration to a video I was editing and about halfway
through the narration Bubba, Cletus, Bo, Jim bob or whatever the mother named them during screaming labor pains comes blasting down the highway past the house. If it’s not a loud muffler, it’s no muffler. Failing that the guy in the small car that has all of 50 horse power has one of those so-called “Fart Can” mufflers supposed to make him feel like the movie Fast and Furious. It takes him a hideous 30 secs to travel about 50 feet winding up that toy engine.

Even while writing this piece at 9.45pm Mr. Hillbilly makes his regular pass in low gear trying to reach 55 mph in 2nd gear so his pipes sound like some ancient anguished hippo being mutilated. It’s not nice to wish bad on anyone, but I sure wish I would hear the sweet sound of bursting motor parts just as he pulled even with the house here on the highway. I would get me a cold chocolate Yoo-Hoo and sit on the porch and smile a big smile as the smoke poured forth from his vehicle like a Genie granted freedom.

I’m off to find some stick pins and one of the kids stuffed toy trucks, if you hear mumbling coming from my direction you’ll know I’m busy.

Comments welcome.