humor

Mop and Glo. “Seniors slip and slide coating for dummies”

~ Ron Walker ~ 5 Comments

Tired, and longing to enjoy a good cup of coffee after having moped and waxed the floors, with Mop and Glo, which hence forth shall always be referred to by me, as “Seniors slip and slide coating for dummies”. I needed to work on a broken charger wire. Needing better light, so I could see to solder my fingers easier, I Turned on the large overhead light. Instead of coming on nice and bright, it decided to flicker and taunt me with what I needed to see better.

So, instead of sitting down for a delightful session of soldering, which usually involves at least two fingers scorched before completion, the afternoon turned into looking to make sure there were no active shorts in the wiring of the office. Once under the desk, inspecting the myriad of wires, it turned into a three-hour task.

I have found that wires under a dimly lit desk, if left to their own, will crawl, wrap, tangle, and otherwise find interesting ways to become what looks like, a science fiction movie of a mutated spaghetti monster. With four computers, and various other components, the evil wire spirits had plenty of things to do, and they had, apparently, been VERY busy.

“Seniors slip and slide coating for dummies”

Mom used to put Mop and Glo on our vinyl floors when I was a kid. Of course, back then with the agility of a cat, we never noticed it. Since I’m grown up now, and wanted shiny floors, I decided to use it. Those floors really looked great. So yes, you can see where this is headed in my 71-year-old brain. Two coats would look superb!

Time to get to it. With tools in hand, we begin to work our way under the desk. Pulling and tugging I removed the paper shredder, the small office trash can, a guitar amplifier, computer number 2, and two battery backup units. During this time, it dawned on me, that I was wearing my sweatpants, sweat shirt, and a nice comfy pair of soft cotton socks.

Mop and Glo and wearing all soft clothing

That, is about the time, I realized that two coats of Mop and Glo and wearing all soft clothing, was going to be an adventure. There were a couple of moments, when I wasn’t sure if I was sliding due to the beautifully shiny floor, or something under the desk was pulling me there, to be a sacrifice. My hands were fine, but if I needed to use knees or elbows to support or brace, I looked like a gymnast doing splits. Think of a Giraffe, walking on a frozen lake.

Long story short, I survived, the mutant spaghetti wire monster was defeated. I also found some things I’d been looking for that had been missing for several months.

It turns out, the flickering light was caused by a bad breaker in the power box, in another room. Right.

Wire monster slain, all is once again at peace in the Kingdom.

Too early in the morning, for video chat.

~ Ron Walker ~ 20 Comments

I have worked, and played with computers since 1982. Never one for video conferencing etc. I’ll chat, text, remote control/view other computers to help out, but I just haven’t done video contact yet. You can bet I’m no Tom Selleck by a long shot.

Along came the virus

The voice mail instructed me to, “Stay home, reduce exposure to the coronavirus. Your doctor will service your appointment via video chat”. They instructed me to install “WhatsApp” on my phone. I’ve never used it, but being an old nerd it wouldn’t be a problem at all. As the kids say, “I’ve got this”. Turns out, I didn’t “got” this.

Less than a minute

The problem arose, when I was not ready to video chat. Early at eight am an assistant from the doctors’ office calls by voice to ask a few questions. No problem, I’m just sitting and sipping coffee in my home office/man cave. Very casual. We’re talking sleep wear and T-Shirt. Less than a minute after hanging up with the assistant nurse, the phone rings, and immediately goes to video chat. I’m sitting here in my T-Shirt and tighty-whities staring at the nurse. Fortunately, I managed to not spray the last sip of coffee all over the phone, and kept the phone level to avoid showing anything below the chest.

Any other time, a visit to the saw-bones, would have a 30+ minute wait time in the lobby. But no, this had to occur in rapid fire session. Truthfully, I don’t remember what we even discussed. I was more in a state of shock, and wondering if the heat I felt from my face, would show up on her phone.

Do any of you video chat? If so, have you had any interesting mishaps. I’d love to know, I’m not the only video klutz in the world.

Comments welcome,

Day 15 of “Shelter at Home”.

~ Ron Walker ~ 25 Comments

I’ve been remiss at blogging for lack of content over the last few days (sometimes months). However, when you are confined to the house, you go with the flow.

15 days ago, the first case of Corvid-19 was reported in Alabama. Today there are 641 confirmed cases and 3 deaths. Such a horrible thing to keep track of. This is much worse than the other epidemics I have seen in my 68 years on this planet, but we will survive.

Store shelves at Walmart are still strangely bare in areas. Bread has returned, but can goods are way behind. Interruption of the transport side of Walmart? What’s with the rush on Spaghetti sauce?

Click for larger images.

Get my fill of crazy

I’ve found things to do around the house. Thing is, it seems the more we clean, the more disorganized things look. Staying home isn’t so bad. I spent my life working with the public, so I’ve had my fill of rowdy crowds and crazy people. If I get to feeling the need for a refresher in how crazy people can be, I just go to Walmart to pick up an item, and get my fill of crazy. Of course, I only go when I need meds refilled. I’ve rearranged/organized my office to the point I can’t find anything.

At one point, I got really bored, and thought I would install Windows 10 on our spare laptop. Everything went well, until it became time for the next regular update. Needing windows to do something, I dug out the trusty laptop. It decided it was time to do an update. It took over an hour before it finished. So I took the opportunity to let Bones pose for a photo-op. He just hangs around in the closet, until I need him as a visual aid.

Bones, my office assistant.

Then yesterday, apparently the lock-down insanity had a moment. I decided maybe a deep cleaning of the keyboard was in order. Especially since the “k” key was now randomly typing a 3. If you ever think it’s a good idea to do this, just let that thought go. After all that work, it still doesn’t work right.

My poor keyboard.

How are you coping with home bound restrictions during this Pandammit (my new name for it). Share your story if you wish.

Comments always welcome,

Laughing at the responses to “Imminent Danger”

~ Ron Walker ~ 11 Comments

This is not meant to be an end of the world post, or total doom and gloom. I’m just putting this out there. More of a tongue in cheek look at the panic and irrational reactions done by regular (or are they) people, and at times, those in charge.

If you step back and look, you can spot where the last dime is being milked before they are forced to comply with suggestions to curb social interactions, and slow the spread of the current Covid-9 virus. Take for example. Alabama decides to appear to be doing something useful to slow the spread. What? Closed the beach parking areas in the tourist areas of the popular Gulf coast area. You know, “If they can’t park, they won’t go to the beach”. However, so as not to lose too much money, let’s leave the beaches open to the public a while longer, just close the parking lots..

Worked great, for about 30 seconds.

Let there be drink!

“Fear not the evil sickness among us, for we must not let our citizens, be of thirst” Book of Alabama :Chapter 20 Verse 20 (Year of the COVID-19).


Keeping the Coffers full, requires selling Alcohol to the citizens. You make tax revenue from sales, plus you arrest them for drunk driving which generates revenue, then you turn around and provide treatment for the alcoholics, with the tax money. I never have wrapped my head around the economics of that plan.

8:25pm They passed an “Emergency Order”, how thoughtful.

Curbside alcohol sales: The ABC Board has passed an emergency order to allow for the curbside sales of alcoholic beverages at licensed locations in the state. Locations licensed to sell alcohol for on-premise and/or off-premise consumption will be able to sell at the curbside for pick-up or takeout. Shoppers are limited to one 750 ml bottle of spirits; one 750 ml bottle of wine; or a six pack of beer. All products must be sold in sealed, unopened containers.

One Hot dog Bun, too much to wish for?

Ever had your taste set for a flavor, to the point you’re nearly salivating on your shirt? Last night, I had a craving for a nice Polish Kielbasa sausage. The kind that is juicy, pops when you bite into it. Choice of condiments, and Sauerkraut sprinkled on it. In a nice warm bun. I went to three stores within a mile of our house knowing there would be few people shopping here in the rural area. No bread. Nothing left but dinner rolls, and sourdough bread, but that just sounded nasty with a beautifully grilled Kielbasa. I nearly cried. I stood there, gazing at the bare shelves, except for the dinner rolls by themselves on a table to the left of me. It seemed hopeless, how can the world survive with no buns for Kielbasa. Then while in the third store the phone call came, I actually felt lightheaded. Michelle had found 2 fresh hotdog buns in the bread box!

Time to play it cool

I was probably the only idiot with a spring in my step and a can of sauerkraut in my hand, smiling like I’d won the lottery while the young clerk rang up my purchase. Then it was time to play it cool, checking out with a can of sauerkraut and a smile on your face in these parts, means you have hotdogs, or something better! I imagined the clerk quickly dialing the phone at her register, whispering to her redneck boyfriend, that an old guy just bought a can of kraut, so he must have hotdog buns! Maybe even toilet paper!

I made it the half mile back to the Trailerhood without incident, then turned the large dogs out, just in case I was followed.

No Bread
They missed the paper towels!
Dinner Rolls, too small.

Any of you having adventures finding bread or TP?