This is meant as a tongue in cheek post regarding aging, of things I am noticing, and trying to laugh at. There is nothing to be done, aging is just a life process we all share. I have taught myself to fight the frustration of age, by laughing with it, or about it. No need for depression, panic, despair, always try to keep hope alive. Some of us have ailments that are serious, and there is no humor to be found in them. Maybe getting a laugh at those of us that are still stumbling (No pun intended. Well, perhaps a little.) in our effort to reconcile, that we must have stepped through a time portal. Yesterday was just here. Along with my eyesight, hearing, hair, coordination, sharp memory. Oh, and hair. Did I mention hair?
How’d I miss that! (Attention to detail)
Once was the time when I would enter a room, size up any dangers, any hazards. I still try to do that to keep the brain functioning. At home? I go on auto-pilot because it is home. I am supposed to be relaxed, and I generally am, that explains the scratches on my back, and the prompt for this post.
Reboot, my loyal feline, loves to lay on the back of the high-backed leather desk chair. She routinely falls asleep and falls off. Yes, she lands on her feet. This morning, I entered the office and “plopped” (it’s an art) down in the chair. It apparently didn’t register, as I entered the room, that she was asleep on the back of the chair. She must have awakened at that precise moment. Instead of the sudden forward movement of the chair-back just moving out from under her, sending her to the floor, she must have activated her grappling hooks to hold on. This caused her to be slung forward and catapult onto my back. Her claws worked a lot better in my skin, than they did on the leather.
They say, It’s in the eye of the beholder.
Reading glassed are my friend, too much time on the computer may have led to this condition. My vision is fine at a distance without glasses, if there is enough light. I have mild night blindness that makes it hard to drive at night if it is raining. So, if I am very tired, and the lighting is not good in a room, I may miss something small.
We have the large cockroaches that hang around on the pecan trees in the backyard. From time to time, one will scurry into the house. Michelle freaks when she spots one, then she gags when the dog runs over and consumes it, instead of just killing it. I need to work with him on that.
About a month ago, in the early morning, I came into the office (my man cave). My faithful legion was waiting there. One Great Dane, Two German Shepard’s, all three sprawled on the floor in various comical poses. I suddenly spot the cockroach on the floor near the Dane. I’m trying not to spill the cup of coffee in my hand, usher out the dogs quickly before one of them spots it, and keep an eye on the bug. Dogs go out, bug stays put, I grab a writing tablet and proceed to smack it.
I killed the hell out of that very small piece of dog blanket. Michelle, who has the eyes of a hawk at close range, picks that moment to come check on the commotion, as the dogs exited the room, and I kill the piece of dog bed. I’m still bent over, having just delivered the final killing blow. “Miss your medicine this morning”? Then she leaves giggling. It’s our little joke, when one of us does something weird or out of place.
Did you hear that?
My hearing is getting weird. The last two years or so the left ear has gone about 75% deaf, also sounds like a group of Cicada bugs in the distance. I’ve noticed as I got older, the music is too loud, and everyone mumbles.
I have to marvel that I seem to have surround sound now. Certain tones come through fine on the left side. I can watch a movie, explosions or ticking clocks of certain frequency, or maybe footsteps come from the left, and the rest of the movie sound on the right. Sometimes it’s cool. I can hear some sounds on the left, that others can’t. I’ll deal with it.
Plug that leak!
I have type 2 Diabetes, I’m on an aspirin a day regimen, not sure if it’s really for my heart, or my mothers-in-law talking. Therefore, if you puncture, scrape, or otherwise break my outer epidermis, which I have noticed looks awfully thin these days, I will continue leaking the red lubrication that keeps us running smoothly. I keep Michelle busy running for band-aids, she acts like I may run out of blood at any moment. I also contribute to the increased profits of band-aid sales at the Dollar General across the street.
Short Term Memory
(I forgot…)
So, while we can, laugh at adversity, smile in the face of uncertainty, hold onto.. Uh, hope, or was that rope. Uh,slope? Never mind, I forgot.
Share your journey with us all. Comments welcome.
I’m along for the ride with you on a lot of that stuff, Ron. The TV volume keeps being crept up, and just this week I collected new varifocals for distance vision when driving. Either that, or they would take my licence away. I try not to be caught driving after dark, as the oncoming headlights blind me too much. I have become the opposite of a vampire, not functioning at all well in the dark!
At least we don’t have cockroaches!
Best wishes, Pete.
I do well Pete, as long as it isn’t raining and oncoming cars causing a glare on the road, then the lines between lanes vanish. I guess one thing I do miss, is being able to see the amount of stars I could see years ago. I see a lot of starts, but not like before. Thanks for the comment this evening Pete! Best wishes.
You make me laugh, Ron.
That is what makes me feel good Mala, knowing you enjoyed it. Thanks for the visit and comment, I enjoy seeing you.
The giggling that came from the area of my chair was an attempt to join you in amusement at getting older. I share lots of things with you. I laugh most at the words I misread, usually getting the meaning totally wrong before I go back to correct myself.
I do the same thing. I play a game with Michelle and her Mother, if we are watching a show, and they say something on there that we didn’t quite catch, I turn to them and repeat what the actor said and add something really crazy on the end that rhymes with the last word.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, and appreciate the comment. Have a great evening Anne.
There is a theory that doorways reboot your brain so you don’t remember why you walked into a room. I’m sticking with that. I also find is that flat dry pavement is as dangerous as climbing Mt. Everest. Don’t have an alternate theory for that one but I’m looking. It’s still better than the alternative!
I had heard about the doorways, so I tried walking through them with my eyes closed. There always seems to be some moments missing (along with what I was going for), when I come back to.
I watched an episode of a show that plays clips of people getting in funny situations. There was one where they played several clips and called the Category “Brain Farts”. It would show athletes running, and all of a sudden it’s as if their brain blanked and didn’t give the command to put the next foot forward. Flat surfaces are treacherous. I can never find what I tripped on when I look back. It’s almost like magic.
Thanks for the comment.
One thing about aspirin and aging. Our thinner skin and ease of bruising make amazing bruises. The other day I said to my husband, “Look at this amazing bruise.” He replied, “I don’t think I have ever heard of an amazing bruise.” This passes for deep conversation at our house! Missed you for a while. If you look back through my posts you will find one that raves about your writing.
That’s the spirit Elizabeth! Amazing patterns in our bruises. I was sure, right after my tumble down the back stairs some time back, that I would look like I had been Tie-Dyed, but I was lucky and had minimal bruising.
I missed all of you, with the Flu crisis around here, everyone sick, and Michelle’s Mother in the hospital, I was swamped. Thanks for the great comment and I will check out your post. Thanks!
Thank you Elizabeth, for such kind words about my blog. I truly enjoy each visit to yours.
Ron
I can so relate to many of these. I recently freaked out when i spotted a slug on the kitchen floor which in fact was a piece of a pickle. The short term memory is probably the hardest to deal with. 🙂
Nothing worse than those tricky pickle slugs, I’ve seen my share of them. Short term memory? I can remember, that I was supposed to remember something, but then the train leaves the station. Thanks for the comment this evening, I’m still grinning about the slug.
Oh yes, the remembering that I should remember something, it’s a kind of torture. To make it worse I was on the phone when I squealed about the slug. That person got quite a chuckle too. 🙂
Wowie, sounds like most of us. Cept no dogs or cats, just a bird that peeps cause he wants attention. You wear hearing aides? I do, now and then, they don’t help much. I get a kick out of Michelle’s reactions. ha ha.
Good post. so true.
Michelle and I love animals. She loves them even more than me. Give me one dog, and one cat and I am happy.
Currently we have 4 small dogs, 3 large dogs, a Bald Python snake (Michelle’s), 2 sugar gliders, 4 Parakeets.
I don’t have a hearing aid. To expensive, if I did, the mother in law would wear it out talking to me. I think I will just settle for a shiny silver ear horn, from the olden days. Thanks for the comment Sandy.
So, you have a pet shop, not a home. ha ha ha! Wow, is there room for everyone?
ps, how do i get my picture on here, like yours.
Sorry Sandy, the Gravatars are for WordPress users. If you’d like to make yourself a wordpress account, and maybe one day start your own blog , you can sign up for a free blog account, then sign up for a Gravatar. A Gravatar follows you from blog to blog, or to websites that support Gravatars.
Your Avatar on this blog and others is generated based on your email, if you don’t have a Gravatar.
If you ever want to sign up for a WordPress account, this is the link.
https://en.gravatar.com/site/signup/
Oh, Ok Ron, thanks. No, I don’t have enough to say to make a blog. ha ha. I lead a boring life. ha ha.
You have done a grand job of describing me Ron. The cat has a bed in my office, no claw marks as yet. His name is Simon. Simon says, “time to get fed, time to go out, time to come in.” Ten hours until my Iggles meet Brady and company. Do I go to sleep happy or sad?
Always go to sleep happy if possible. That’s my outlook.