On a Lighter Note

Lighthearted Posts

The Camping Trip..

~ Ron Walker ~ 14 Comments

I was asked if there would be a post about the camping trip we had a couple of months ago. Here are just some highlights that I can remember, some will never be forgotten. I need to describe this outing.

First, the place is very secluded (cue the Deliverance Music). It is by invitation only, and requires a registration fee and voluntary work to help around the area. The people have gathered there yearly for two decades. I can’t reveal location or real names. It was nice to see, that with 200+ people, primitive camping, some partying and drinking, and clothing optional, there were no fights, as you would normally see in a large group of people. This could be due to the well written rules that you have to sign, no weapons, no drugs, (they get you banned for life) no over indulgence, crude remarks (due to some nudity), no bashing of any religions. And another strict rule, “No sexual shenanigans”. Lots of rules, but I felt more comfortable there, than any other gathering of people I have been around, It was like a community.

Attendees came from as far away, as New York and Miami. There were vendors selling crafts, craft classes, survival, and herbal medicine. Vendors with some small food articles. A blacksmith with his portable forge. A very attractive woman mid twenties, that walked around the community area, or sat in a chair from time to time, fully clothed I might add, and played the most beautiful violin music I have ever heard. A woman mid sixties, who had a magically beautiful voice. Long gray hair and playing her guitar from time to time. Never loud, just to herself.

I spent a good deal of time sitting in a sports chair at our camp site, holding an ice pack to my face, due to a severe toothache. I would wander around once in a while, to the vendors and the community circle area. I didn’t get in any trouble, or slapped for staring (which is against the cardinal rule). Imagine, a man or woman, on your first visit to a clothing optional event, and talking to people without noticing anything below the neck. I found it amazingly easier to do than I had thought.

Your image, burned into my mind

Just before twilight the first day, about 30 attendees met together for a meet and greet around the community circle area. Some sitting in chairs or standing. There was an older looking man there, the type that looks like a used car salesman. A few seemed to know him. There was a new couple, tall handsome guy, with a well tanned young woman. She had a short wrap skirt, but was nude from waist up. She was an aspiring model. When it came around eventually to the car salesman, he introduced himself, and told everyone he may take a few pictures unless you declined. Then, the idiot raises his hands, like a director framing a shot of the tanned girl 30 feet across from him, and says, “You, (name) I have your image, burned into my mind”. The area went from happy and light talking, to a funeral parlor. I think the forest creatures went silent for a moment. I waited for the huge, tall, muscular fellow to thunder past on his way to put and end to the car salesman. Everyone is quiet and looking around uncomfortably. The idiot salesman, is still grinning. Then he is led away by the person he knew. Maybe they feared a lynching party of their friend. We never saw him after that. Booted out was the word.

About his fourth trip, he crashed

Things you really rather not remember. One of those items burned into my poor retinas, was a very skinny man in his 80s parading around in a small Speedo with a tall staff. Then the winner, would be the guy that had celebrated too much, and after dark, ran up and down the main long travel area with a “glow stick” wrapped around his manhood. About his fourth trip, he crashed and burned just outside the community circle. I just sat there and laughed till I hurt, I had a view of that area from my chair. Apparently, those glow sticks don’t provide enough illumination at night, while running under the influence of alcohol. Then there was the lady that was well nourished, and naked, old enough to be my grandmother if I still had one. We encountered her near the community circle/bonfire area where people mingled and talked. I offered my hand. Nope, she only does hugs! Around twilight many would gather there until the wee hours of the morning, beating drums and dancing. No one overly loud or rowdy. Naked maybe, but not loud.

The campsite near us however, was entertaining. It was 2am and the three guys at the site had talked about the pros and cons of comic book characters all evening. Characters such as Captain America, and Dark Wing Duck, were heard heatedly debated. Not too loudly, but enough you could follow parts of the conversation, and give you a chuckle or two at grown men debating the abilities of comic characters. Eventually, too much liquid spirited debate, and something was said that the fella that had the campsite exploded about. Let’s call him Dark Wing. It’s 3am and I’m about to fall asleep. The revelers have nearly all left the bonfire, the drums are silent, most campers are asleep, or turning in. Then, there was a pause in the comic debate. A loud angry voice shouted, I’m a &#%@&*% woman, you asshole. I can’t help it I was born with a !#%#

I had just met Klinger

To explain the ruckus, we’ll back up a few hours. Camp is set up, my wife is off doing her two hour block of community task by shuttling a few attendees to the camp site. They always run out of room to park vehicles at some point, so the shuttle duty kicks in. So, I decide to walk down a small trail behind our site. On the return up the path, I meet a tall slender fella wearing a ball cap, and colorful tennis shoes. He was dressed in a very sheer nightgown. Let’s go with see-through. Trailing behind him was an attractive girl, closely cropped hair, completely clothed. He stopped and introduced themselves as, “Hi I’m (name), and this is my lovely lesbian wife, (name). Who the hell, introduces their wife like that. Next shock, I offered my hand for a shake, and the wife grabbed it and returned the gesture. He then says, “Oh no! I’m a hugger”, and proceeded to wrap his arms around me with a squeeze. As we went our separate ways, I thought I had just met Klinger from (M>A>S>H). They continued down the trail. I think, I ran up the trail, I’m still a little fuzzy about that part.

All in all, it was a nice outing. I got to relax after the toothache eased off. The whole gathering was a happy, friendly community. We only made it two days of the planned four-day stay. Triple digit heat indices, worsened an apparent spider bite on the back of my lovely wife’s leg. We did bring home the regular camping critters, chiggers, red bugs etc. They tortured us for about a week.

Summary

  • I apparently met a relative of Klinger from MASH.
  • We learned interesting attributes of various comic characters.
  • Was amazed, at how many nightgowns one man can wear, in two days, and the lack of color coordination with the tennis shoes.
  • Learned a new use for glow stick items, if you’re drunk, and lost in the woods.
  • Met Old Man Time wearing a speedo.
  • Observed the escape from death, of a car salesman.
  • Heard a beautiful violinist play haunting melodies at night.
  • Listened to a soft guitar, and heard a voice that could only come from heaven.
  • Don’t let your dog romp in the woods, and then sleep with it.
  • Most of all, We met a nice group of people that form a community.

Comments welcome,

My spelling is already bad, I don’t need help from auto correct

~ Ron Walker ~ 22 Comments

Technology is great, up to a certain point. Smart phone can be entertaining when you want to try out the speech to text typing. Being a total failure at typing on a smart phone, I tend to try the talk-to-text option. The wife and I, have taken to making fun of it when it generates some crazy mistakes.

Generally, it works well. However, if you have background noise, or in Michelle’s case on this day, taken a ton of cold medicine, it can miss the mark by a mile.

She was groggy from the cold medicine, trying to talk-to-text since she couldn’t see well through the medicine induced blurry vision. The following is a short text exchange between her and me. You’ll notice my lack of punctuation, I just string it together when I use the talk-to text, rather than stop and use the keys.

So, I fired one back of crazy talk, just to see what it would do. It got it 100% right. It gave her a laugh at least. She calls me boo or honey not hobey, and she said it wouldn’t even understand her curse words when she became frustrated with it. Of course the window AC was loud, and the NyQuil slurred her speech.

Ever have crazy things come out of your talk-to-text AI?
Comments welcome,

Flying SD cards, Safety Rails, that aren’t safe.

~ Ron Walker ~ 21 Comments
My Flying SD Card

I have babied this porcelain demon for 3 years.

It started, as a quiet Sunday. So it seemed like a nice day to tinker around the house. My first project, was to fix the commode that was leaking past the plunger. You know, the type that every so often you hear the inlet valve turn on to refill the tank level. I also mentally picture the water bill increased. I have babied this porcelain demon for 3 years. There are no replacement parts (ancient 1986 model), but this month I will replace the entire thing. In the meantime, I gather the small tube of LocTite Super Glue, A tube of FlexGlue (as seen on TV), and set out to conquering this leaky waste disposal unit.

I notice the super glue missing

I removed the top of the tank and gingerly sat it astride the commode seat, the seat cover is gone, having long since surrendered to the mother-in-law’s girth. I placed the super glue and the flex glue on the tank lid, giving both stern instructions to “stay”. First step is to turn off the water. Next, flush the commode. As I watch the fascinating swirling of the water, and try to remember which way it swirls in the southern hemisphere, I notice the super glue missing. It’s nowhere to be found. Finishing the best repair possible, I caution the mother-in-law, to restrain from flushing it like she’s pumping water from an old well.

Actual bar

After replacing the tank lid on the commode, I straighten up and turn to leave. That is when I had a brain misfire, or Vertigo as the professionals like to tell me. While trying to catch my balance, I was fortunate to have the use of the Safety Bar I had installed for the mother-in-law. As I said earlier, she has girth. The bar is heavy duty, and bolted into the studs just outside the shower. It was sturdy enough, that I was able to strike my head on it sufficiently, to slow my tilting progression. Only I could complete such a maneuver.

Flying SD Cards

My head still thumping, I decide to sit in the office and swap out an SD Card in the tablet. Press and release it says. So I press, my fingernail isn’t that big and the card slips. It left the tablet on an upward trajectory, reaching about 4 feet and disappeared behind the small office fridge. After retrieving it, a crazy thought entered my mind, perhaps from the earlier blow to the head. I rummaged in the desk and found the package for the SD Card. Of all the crazy warnings/precautions they place on products, they failed to caution the user with short fingernails, to use protective eyewear.

The dogs looked entertained

We’ll close this now. No need in going into how I dripped boiling water on my bare foot while making tea to help my headache. The dogs looked entertained, watching an old stumpy guy dancing around shouting metaphors. If they’d had hands, they would have clapped.

So how was your Sunday?

Finally Friday! Recap of the Week.

~ Ron Walker ~ 10 Comments

After Tuesday night’s adventure with the spiders, I just wanted a quiet day Wednesday.

That was not to be. First thing Wednesday morning, an alert revealed the 500GB secondary hard drive was dying. I had been expecting the failure for a while. You don’t trust a drive with important data that is 6+ years old, it was used mostly for temporary files while working on videos. It had just started having some minor issues. So, a cursory check with the smart-drive software revealed the main 1 TB drive, that came with the computer 6 years ago, was showing “pre-fail” for three statistics. It too is beyond safe life limit. So I need to give up, and replace the two drives. Actually, I just need to plug up a whole new computer to the monitor. 

screaming noises

Sitting there pondering crawling under the desk and removing the drive, the office light decided to turn on by itself. I looked at the switch, and it was in the off position. After about 10 seconds, the light went back off. This occurred twice while I watched it. Wonderful! That indicates a short, which could cause an arc, which could cause a fire, you get the picture. I hate working on house wiring, I always get shocked somehow. I can work on most things, but I have a mental block for house wiring. So I spent the morning checking YouTube videos. Had it been a simple switch circuit no problem. But no, it wasn’t. When I cut the power to the room, the small UPS, which was purchase about 8 years ago, but tested fine a week ago when I moved the office around, decided to start making screaming noises, and beeps. The “replace battery” light was on. The buzzer/beeper sounded like someone had it by the throat. Still, not bad for a UPS with an 8-year-old battery, to have passed the battery self-test a week ago. I silence the alarms on both UPS units.

The light switch in the wall was shot, it was a shallow mobile home one piece unit. There were 4 spare new switches in my parts box, not a single wall box to mount the switch in. So, a trip to Walmart was in order.It’s starting to get quite hot in the office.double chirp starts on the large UPS… Getting back home, the new switch box was too big, so I enlarged the hole with the jigsaw. Once I tried to install it, there was a 2X4 wall stud behind it liking only another 1/8 inch to fit flush.

So I started a new area to mount it in (at least I was working with thin paneling). Halfway into cutting out the new hole, the jigsaw decided this was its final day, I finished the hole with a pocket knife. While attaching the wires, firmly I might add, the screw driver slipped, and I stabbed a nice star (Phillips head) shape in my left hand. Michelle patched me up.

double chirp starts on the large UPS…

Time to restore power to the office. The smaller UPS resumes its weird gurgled scream when I turned it on, then silence. No power on the UPS side (battery) so I transfer the plugs to the always-on side. The larger UPS comes on fine. All three computers and other items for the internet come on okay. I’m 20 minutes into working on a program, and a double chirp starts on the large UPS… Early warning that the battery probably has 2 weeks of life left. At least it’s Friday!

Comments welcome,