trailer park life

Sunday in the South. (Trailerhood style)

~ Ron Walker ~ 15 Comments
Reboot, doing what she does best.

Sunday morning, the droning of what sounds like a large lawnmower stirs me from a wonderful night of slumber. It’s 8AM, everyone should be out testing their latest mode of travel, an ancient riding mower. Time for the first morning cup of coffee, and check out the noise-maker. Reboot couldn’t care less, she happily naps in the window and pretends the noise doesn’t exist. I just sit and watch for the guy to ride by, leaning outward from his seat, looking at each wheel as if he expects one to come off at any moment.

Sometimes, the weekends feel like a day from the movie, “Groundhog Day”. Cue the large menacing looking 4by4 pickup with oversized knobby tires, with the super loud muffler. He sounds like it’s doing 35 mph (ca. 56 kilometers per hour), but in reality maybe accomplishing 5 mph (8.05 km/h). Maybe the sound is to attract attention so that you notice the white 12-inch vinyl letters that are affixed to the front windshield, his last name. Hard to tell if he wants others to know it, or he can’t remember it and needs the visual prompt. I’d bet on the latter.

As I left for a trip to the store, I opted to drive through the park, instead of straight out onto the highway. Just to see what things looked like now. Neat, tidy, normal. Until, I was making the last corner and spotted the “yard light”. That is my closest guess at the function of the device. Some type of pipe/pole, about 10 feet (3.05 m) long, positioned at a 45-degree angle. Attached to this, was an indoor multi bulb chandelier. He removed it sometime in the last two days, leaving just the pole. Maybe we will get an actual picture later. Probably didn’t fair well in the last rain storm we had. I found a picture of the light fixture online at Lowes. He probably found it discarded somewhere and thought it would add some fancy ambience to the place at night.

Now, I think I will relax and enjoy the rest of this Sunday in the South. I might even find me a fancy fixture for our front yard!

Comments always welcome,

It’s Officially Christmas, in the TrailerHood.

~ Ron Walker ~ 13 Comments

The official declaration was slow coming this year. Christmas is marked by regular events, for many. Ours was officially started this morning. Reboot, my dear cat and purveyor of all associated with my man-cave. Marked the occasion by barfing a wad of tinsel onto the carpet, along with whatever else is included in such expulsions. Christmas, is here..

We put a tree up this year, just not enough Ho-Ho-Ho spirit to string the lights outside, no stockings hanging over the fireplace. Michelle likes to decorate, but she just isn’t feeling it this year. With the Griswolds visiting, and having to make a decision to maybe place her mother in a home after the holidays.

There is more spirit in the TrailerHood though, we do have one home out of the 40, that has outside inflatable items that are on at night. Maybe there is hope for the world.

Then again, I look out my window and see the Christmas Bows on the mail boxes out front. These are courtesy of the same people, that pay some down on their luck soul $60 to scoop out septic tank waste, into a pickup truck and dump it on someone else’s land. Intolerant of any other religion, support rebel flags, and offer $10 a head bounty on any stray cats you shoot or poison. All between church functions.

Then I think back and smile. Fun memories of the Christmas that it snowed hard, Johnny Reb racing through the snow like a nine-year old on his electric wheel chair, almost running into the concrete ditch out front. Johnny Reb later going to jail for vacation. Then the Summer, that they harassed the guy in the small trailer that occasionally had black friends visit. They charged him twice for not cutting his grass quickly. He sprayed his yard with a special formula that stunted and browned the grass, but didn’t kill it completely. The time they got caught and fined by EPA, for dumping human waste on someones land. Yes, the smallest things can bring joy when you remember them.

So I recline on my couch resting my warm socked feet on the coffee table, and watch as my wife’s Great Dane, comes through the living room, dragging one of the Griswold’s wiener dogs by its chest harness. A little blue tab of its built-in poop bag sticking up from its harness container like a decoration. Yes, life is good.

So have a Merry Christmas and remember, you’re alive and can enjoy it with loved ones. Now, I must go and fix my coffee and empty the pitcher that should now be full, from the roof leak.

Comments always welcome,

This is why, “Do Not Eat” is on Detergent. (Trailer Hood Tales)

~ Ron Walker ~ 16 Comments

There are times when talking to people, just makes your head hurt. Helping others has been my life. I don’t mean to be critical, but sometimes a person looks and acts normal, but you know all the puzzle pieces are not together tight. Living in the Trailerhood, I have observed more of the things that go on, than what I saw as a cop answering calls to the parks. As said before, there are good people, normal middle class. Like the man that works late into the night, on cars people bring him to fix, for extra income. Then there are the ones that just don’t want to participate in life or society.

The environment is best described, as if God had taken a giant net, swung it through rush hour traffic, and deposited the catch in one area.

-Ron

As many can attest, when you have been in any type of skilled work, there are those that will seek you out for advice, whether they really know you or not. There is a young man here, he is a truck driver. What I am about to tell you, demonstrates the loose puzzle piece theory. Intelligent enough to drive an 18 wheeler rig, which he recently fell asleep driving, having an accident (roll over). Resulting in losing his employment, but that’s another subject. He builds Sporting Rifles (AR-15 style). Purchasing the parts and building them, all done legally. Basically what I as a 2nd Amendment supporter, call a Gun Nut. Of course, that’s just my opinion. His wife was involved in an accident recently, and he wanted to know how to find out who was at fault.

However, right there on the second page,

He had scoured over the report, but couldn’t make sense of it. I asked him to email a copy of the report to me. The reports have changed in the 20 years since I left the profession of being a cop, Its gone from 1 page to 5. Most of it just information for insurance companies. However, right there on the second page, was the below “Narrative”, in its own large block. The first page listed her as the driver of Vehicle 1 (V1) the driver of Vehicle 2 (V2) was a male.

V2 WAS TRAVELING NORTH ON I-65 IN THE RIGHT LANE NEAR THE 188 MILE MARKER. V1 WAS TRAVELING NORTH ON I-65 NEAR THE 188 MILE MARKER IN THE LEFT LANE WHILE OVERTAKING V2. AS V1 PASSED V2, IT BEGAN TO ENTER THE LANE OF V2. AS A RESULT, V1 SIDE-SWIPED V2 BEFORE COMING TO A REST. UPON ARRIVAL, THE DRIVER OF V1 SMELLED OF ALCOHOL AND HAD SLURRED SPEECH. THERE WERE OPEN CONTAINERS OF BEER BOTTLES SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THE VEHICLE. THE DRIVER ADMITTED TO DRINKING ALCOHOL LATE INTO THE NIGHT. THE DRIVER ALSO ADMITTED TO TAKING MULTIPLE PRESCRIPTION PILLS AND SMOKING MARIJUANA. THE DRIVER OF V1 WAS THEN ADMINISTERED FIELD SOBRIETY TEST AND WAS ARRESTED FOR DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE.

I gave him the bad news, and referred him to the narrative. Is it just me? Driver of Vehicle one (V1), was the only female involved in the accident, Not to mention, the first clue should have been bonding his significant other out of the Iron Bar Hilton.

There are two other rather shocking /interesting posts about things around here that I just learned about. This stuff, may one day turn into a decent short book. Comments always welcome.

All the news, that is the news. Trailerhood style.

~ Ron Walker ~ 17 Comments

I felt it probably time, to give life to a few words for the blog. Trailer Park Life, has slowed somewhat. Quieter now. YouTube Boy, is spending his days in a lockup, awaiting his 18th birthday. We never did get a final report on the bug in his ear. So it’s up in the air, whether it vacated the ear, or died of starvation in the sparsely packed cranial cavity beyond the ear canal.

I can’t think of a more matched pair.

YouTube Mom, just finished a 48-hour stint in the psych ward I hear. I think there must be some friction, between her and her girlfriend she was supposed to be marrying. Strange, I can’t think of a more matched pair though, after bumping into them both. Check out How much weirdness, can one weekend hold. (Trailer Park Life) if you haven’t ever read it.

Popeye, is still strutting around maintaining things. I thought she was gone, but I looked up from the desk yesterday, and she was striding along, rigid spine, arms slightly bent at the elbows and held out slightly, like the stance of a Bulldog. Johnny Reb is still around, somewhere on the back street, confederate flag and all. His other camper, still sits empty, perhaps testament to another failed romance in the trailerhood.

Two recent pieces of news.
Apparently, I am still seen as the high-priest of a cult.
We finally paid off this abode. Now, if I can keep it from falling apart, and I get rich soon, we’ll move it, or sell it.

That’s it for tonight. “The moving finger writes, and having written moves on.” Comments always welcome.