I was asked if there would be a post about the camping trip we had a couple of months ago. Here are just some highlights that I can remember, some will never be forgotten. I need to describe this outing.

First, the place is very secluded (cue the Deliverance Music). It is by invitation only, and requires a registration fee and voluntary work to help around the area. The people have gathered there yearly for two decades. I can’t reveal location or real names. It was nice to see, that with 200+ people, primitive camping, some partying and drinking, and clothing optional, there were no fights, as you would normally see in a large group of people. This could be due to the well written rules that you have to sign, no weapons, no drugs, (they get you banned for life) no over indulgence, crude remarks (due to some nudity), no bashing of any religions. And another strict rule, “No sexual shenanigans”. Lots of rules, but I felt more comfortable there, than any other gathering of people I have been around, It was like a community.

Attendees came from as far away, as New York and Miami. There were vendors selling crafts, craft classes, survival, and herbal medicine. Vendors with some small food articles. A blacksmith with his portable forge. A very attractive woman mid twenties, that walked around the community area, or sat in a chair from time to time, fully clothed I might add, and played the most beautiful violin music I have ever heard. A woman mid sixties, who had a magically beautiful voice. Long gray hair and playing her guitar from time to time. Never loud, just to herself.

I spent a good deal of time sitting in a sports chair at our camp site, holding an ice pack to my face, due to a severe toothache. I would wander around once in a while, to the vendors and the community circle area. I didn’t get in any trouble, or slapped for staring (which is against the cardinal rule). Imagine, a man or woman, on your first visit to a clothing optional event, and talking to people without noticing anything below the neck. I found it amazingly easier to do than I had thought.

Your image, burned into my mind

Just before twilight the first day, about 30 attendees met together for a meet and greet around the community circle area. Some sitting in chairs or standing. There was an older looking man there, the type that looks like a used car salesman. A few seemed to know him. There was a new couple, tall handsome guy, with a well tanned young woman. She had a short wrap skirt, but was nude from waist up. She was an aspiring model. When it came around eventually to the car salesman, he introduced himself, and told everyone he may take a few pictures unless you declined. Then, the idiot raises his hands, like a director framing a shot of the tanned girl 30 feet across from him, and says, “You, (name) I have your image, burned into my mind”. The area went from happy and light talking, to a funeral parlor. I think the forest creatures went silent for a moment. I waited for the huge, tall, muscular fellow to thunder past on his way to put and end to the car salesman. Everyone is quiet and looking around uncomfortably. The idiot salesman, is still grinning. Then he is led away by the person he knew. Maybe they feared a lynching party of their friend. We never saw him after that. Booted out was the word.

About his fourth trip, he crashed

Things you really rather not remember. One of those items burned into my poor retinas, was a very skinny man in his 80s parading around in a small Speedo with a tall staff. Then the winner, would be the guy that had celebrated too much, and after dark, ran up and down the main long travel area with a “glow stick” wrapped around his manhood. About his fourth trip, he crashed and burned just outside the community circle. I just sat there and laughed till I hurt, I had a view of that area from my chair. Apparently, those glow sticks don’t provide enough illumination at night, while running under the influence of alcohol. Then there was the lady that was well nourished, and naked, old enough to be my grandmother if I still had one. We encountered her near the community circle/bonfire area where people mingled and talked. I offered my hand. Nope, she only does hugs! Around twilight many would gather there until the wee hours of the morning, beating drums and dancing. No one overly loud or rowdy. Naked maybe, but not loud.

The campsite near us however, was entertaining. It was 2am and the three guys at the site had talked about the pros and cons of comic book characters all evening. Characters such as Captain America, and Dark Wing Duck, were heard heatedly debated. Not too loudly, but enough you could follow parts of the conversation, and give you a chuckle or two at grown men debating the abilities of comic characters. Eventually, too much liquid spirited debate, and something was said that the fella that had the campsite exploded about. Let’s call him Dark Wing. It’s 3am and I’m about to fall asleep. The revelers have nearly all left the bonfire, the drums are silent, most campers are asleep, or turning in. Then, there was a pause in the comic debate. A loud angry voice shouted, I’m a &#%@&*% woman, you asshole. I can’t help it I was born with a !#%#

I had just met Klinger

To explain the ruckus, we’ll back up a few hours. Camp is set up, my wife is off doing her two hour block of community task by shuttling a few attendees to the camp site. They always run out of room to park vehicles at some point, so the shuttle duty kicks in. So, I decide to walk down a small trail behind our site. On the return up the path, I meet a tall slender fella wearing a ball cap, and colorful tennis shoes. He was dressed in a very sheer nightgown. Let’s go with see-through. Trailing behind him was an attractive girl, closely cropped hair, completely clothed. He stopped and introduced themselves as, “Hi I’m (name), and this is my lovely lesbian wife, (name). Who the hell, introduces their wife like that. Next shock, I offered my hand for a shake, and the wife grabbed it and returned the gesture. He then says, “Oh no! I’m a hugger”, and proceeded to wrap his arms around me with a squeeze. As we went our separate ways, I thought I had just met Klinger from (M>A>S>H). They continued down the trail. I think, I ran up the trail, I’m still a little fuzzy about that part.

All in all, it was a nice outing. I got to relax after the toothache eased off. The whole gathering was a happy, friendly community. We only made it two days of the planned four-day stay. Triple digit heat indices, worsened an apparent spider bite on the back of my lovely wife’s leg. We did bring home the regular camping critters, chiggers, red bugs etc. They tortured us for about a week.

Summary

• I apparently met a relative of Klinger from MASH.
• We learned interesting attributes of various comic characters.
• Was amazed, at how many nightgowns one man can wear, in two days, and the lack of color coordination with the tennis shoes.
• Learned a new use for glow stick items, if you’re drunk, and lost in the woods.
• Met Old Man Time wearing a speedo.
• Observed the escape from death, of a car salesman.
• Heard a beautiful violinist play haunting melodies at night.
• Listened to a soft guitar, and heard a voice that could only come from heaven.
• Don’t let your dog romp in the woods, and then sleep with it.
• Most of all, We met a nice group of people that form a community.

Comments welcome,