Thermonuclear War, and dog poop. It’s a Wednesday.

It’s Wednesday, better known as hump-day. The day we teeter at the center of the week, waiting to start that downhill slide to the weekend. The first half of this week, was filled with honey-do’s and working in and around the house. Carpets to be shampooed, Grass mowed, car cleaned.

We have two German Shepards which we feed really well. Naturally after processing, it gets deposited in strategic points throughout the yard. You can guess who is in charge of “poop patrol”.  I announce that I am headed out for my patrol and get a “Be careful” from Michelle, You have to wonder, what can go wrong shoveling poop in a hole. Then you play back those funny videos of people stepping on shovels, and reducing their chance of having offspring.

If there was an award, for the most waste produced from 75 lbs of dry dog food, my two dogs would receive it. Shovel in hand I set about my duties cleaning the yard and burying it well. I have a fleeting thought, If we could cross-breed the two with some type of cat, maybe the next dogs would bury their own waste. Then the mental picture of tripping over what would appear as large ant hills killed that idea.

Tensions the past month have been rising with North Korea. I have gotten where I don’t watch the news because of all the craziness. Here I stand in the yard, shoveling shi, I mean poop, when the “early warning” sirens go off. I’m thinking to myself that a Wednesday, especially the first Wednesday of any month, would be the perfect day for a hostile country to launch a strike on us. Nothing like thermonuclear war, in the middle of poop patrol.

Then I realize the siren is going on for much too long. Maybe it was the new medication I’m on for nerves after the heart attack last year, Standing there, listening to that blaring beast half a block away, shovel in one hand, wearing t-shirt and gym shorts with extremely white legs, complete with socks and running shoes (It’s a senior fashion statement). I calmly think, “Please, not today. I just cleaned this mess.” Apparently that new medicine really works.

Have a great Wednesday.


25 thoughts on “Thermonuclear War, and dog poop. It’s a Wednesday.

  1. Senior socks are allowed with running shoes, as long as the socks are white.

    Senior socks are NOT allowed with sandals. ESPECIALLY not *black* socks – ever! If I see you coming with those, I would cross the street, figuring such senior-itis might be contagious.

    BTW, I am one up on you re dog poop. We used to have a dog that used the back yard too. The problem was winter. No one felt like going out there to pick it up. This did NOT make for a happy early spring, I can tell you, as the snow melted… Ugh! 😀

    1. I was in a hurry, I grabbed the first pair at hand and they were black. Ugh. You couldn’t get a pair of sandals on me if I were dead. I naturally repel them.

      I bet Spring was a fragrant surprise as things melted.

  2. Did you discover why the siren was sounding?

    My dog does his poos out on his walks. So I have to carry bags to scoop it up with, and put it in the special bins provided. Luckily, he refuses to do it in ‘his’ own garden!

    Best wishes, Pete.

    1. Yes, a monthly test every first Wednesday at the same time. Apparently this siren here was stuck. They control them remotely. Thanks for the comment.

  3. I laughed, as always, at your post, especially crossing a dog and cat for poop disposal.  I love your sense of humor.

    1. Thanks Anne, I’m glad you liked it. Not sure what I would call the breed. Wouldn’t matter, as long as they cleaned up after themselves. Thanks for the comment.

  4. No poop for us.  ha ha.  No dogs, no cats, so we are free from poop.  LOL.

    Ron you are a riot.  Love you posts.


    1. What about the deer and antelope, and rabbits, and coyotes, and ducks, and…..?

  5. Like you I avoid the news. It makes my mind go in weird directions. We have litter boxes here. Lots of them. I am the resident poop person!

  6. I always had the feeling that dogs spread their sh… poop around thinking that they are doing their humans a favor. After all, their owners seem so interested in watching and waiting for them to do their business, then they bend over, pick it up, and collect it in a bag like it was a prize.

    1. I imagine we do look rather odd to them, I never thought of it that way. I can imagine how funny we look trying to covertly watch them do their business. They notice so much, they must that us insane. Thanks for the commment.

  7. Should the balloon go up and you bug out with the dogs, make sure to pack an Entrenching Tool in the Bugout bag. Only one of man’s best friend here, 1/2 the cleanup.  Happy Hump Day Ron.

  8. I love the senior look!  Crossing the dogs with the cast isn’t going to help.  Then you would end up with kitty litter duty like John has.  Ha!  I never touch the stuff!

  9. Haha just what I needed on election results morning in the U.K., which I fear will run and run. That is the downside to owning dogs but clearly they bring you lots of joy. I just borrow a dog and enjoy long walks with him and cups of tea with the grateful owner. Love your blog.

  10. Funny as always, Ron! I wish some of my neighbours would clean up after their dogs.  I am tempted to put a sign in front of my house:
    “I don’t poop in your parlour, so don’t let your dog poop on my garden!”  🙂

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s the same here, some lady down the street lets her dog loose to use other yards. Thanks for the comment this fine Friday.

  11. I walk my Chipper downtown, in the park, down the sidewalk…., and always carry at least 2 bags with me, but have to watch where I walk.  Amazing the number of people who must not clean up after their dogs.

    1. We have one that comes to our yard to poop. Dogs are supposed to be contained here, but complaints fall on deaf ears. Thanks for the comment.

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