Just like the song by the Bangles “Just another Manic Monday”, my Monday started off slow and quiet and quickly turned into a Manic Monday.

Last night the wife announced that she had lost an item (A Vape) that the daughter had bought her as a gift. We checked the chair she had been sitting in. We checked my office and the bedroom. I told her to calm down and I would find it tomorrow.

“That” was an experience I’d rather not dwell on.

So here we are Monday, I searched diligently all over the house. I even looked in the fridge and the chest freezer. It was driving me nuts not being able to find something slightly smaller than a cigarette pack. My next thought as I checked the chair for the 4th time was maybe she had dropped it in the garbage while putting something in there. Nope, not in the garbage. “That” was an experience I’d rather not dwell on.

The wife and mother-in-law went to town to pick up some groceries leaving me there to hunt for the missing item.

Then the Monday gets Manic. I proceed to disassemble the king size bed by myself, moving box springs and mattress off the frame for a better look, thinking one of the tiny dogs might have thought it funny to take it up in the box springs if they had made a hole. There was no hole.

Back to the living room doing my best imitation of NCIS with the bright flashlight looking under and behind everything. I search all the rooms again for the 4th time. Then I stop and just stare at the recliner that I had checked four other times by reaching deep into it’s dark innards. I sit down on the floor and with the bright light look over every nook and cranny in that mechanism of the chair. Just as I am about to give up a glimmer of something shiny catches the light.

I swear I thought I heard a chuckle

Tucked up inside a ledge nearly inaccessible without taking the chair apart with an ax sits the Vape. Using a plastic curtain rod and some choice words I manage to get to it. At one point my hand gets stuck and I think of having to sit for hours till someone comes home. I suppose the chair had enjoyed my turmoil enough for one day as my hand came free, I swear I thought I heard a chuckle, or maybe it was me.

If that wasn’t enough for one day, when the wife gets home I get her to cut my hair with the small battery operated clippers. I tell her to buzz it all off. One third through the cut and the batteries start dying. No batteries to be found so I rob the TV remote for some batteries so I won’t look like something from a Mad Max movie.

I manage to get a shower without drowning myself. I get a pair of underwear out of my drawer and note the pink tint to them. While I’m standing there looking at them in wonder, the wife says, “I meant to mention that to you, one of my red shirts faded in the wash”.

I feel a twitch developing…

Now I sit here on this Monday evening and wonder if perhaps at any moment a leg will break off my office chair, dumping me in the floor where no doubt the dogs will try to lick me to death as I lay there and cry. Then when they get me to the hospital they will discover the pink shorts. I feel a twitch developing in the corner of my eye just like Chief Inspector Dreyfus in the Pink Panther movie.

So it was just another Manic Monday. I have four more days to go.

Comments welcome,